AIKIDO FOR COMBAT PTSD

INTEGRATING INTO A PROGRAM OF THERAPY

2010-11-26T18:18:00.000-08:00

I would like to start with a qualification; I do not believe there is only one “cause” for PTSD, therefore there should not be one “therapy”. The causal circumstances, the surrounding context, individual psychological states, genetic proclivities, and the potential for a wide range of differing factors can make the basis for each individuals PTSD unique and probably difficult to define. It follows, then, that dealing effectively with an individuals PTSD would require exposure to as wide a range of therapeutic approaches as possible, and treatment should involve a team of therapists from a variety of disciplines.

Given the kinesthetic realities I outlined in the previous blog, several physical approaches should be offered; exposure therapy, EMDI, Yoga, tai chi, physical therapy and Aikido all have their strengths, and different individuals may respond effectively to one or more. When offered along with talk therapies and medication in an integrated team approach, sort of a therapeutic smorgasbord, a “prescription” can be developed that is most effective for each individual.

This would mean that the instructors would need to be fully integrated in to the therapy team. There should also be an initial two way training/familiarization program between the instructor and the therapy team. This is to enable both sides to understand the basics of what they both have to offer. It will allow the instructors to structure their programs to complement other aspects of the veteran’s therapy programs, and give therapists a deeper understanding of what the veterans are experiencing, and how they can best take advantage of this during their sessions.

The best example of this would be “relaxing to center”. This is a key aspect to aikido and the vets soon experience it when a technique works best when they do it successfully. A therapist, observing a vet begin to tense up, should be able to tell him to relax to center, to inhale and as he exhales slowly let his muscles to open and allow the energy to flow down to his center.

As I have indicated above, there are any number of lessons, behaviors, attitudes, mind-sets, etc., absorbed kinesthetically in the practice of Aikido techniques that can be utilized in conjunction with more traditional therapies to excellent effect. The end result will be to provide a more holistic approach to a causally differentiated disability.

BLENDING; MIND, BODY AND SPIRIT

2010-11-22T06:07:00.000-08:00

11/22/10

As I said in my last blog, this will be an attempt to clarify in my own mind why I believe Aikido has a place in the treatment of Vets with Combat Related Post Traumatic Stress disorder. It is still a bit of a mishigas, but moving toward some sort of clarity none the less. The ultimate measure of success, of course, will be if my arguments are instrumental in getting Aikido included as an intrinsic part of a full program of PTSD therapy. With this in mind, this is written more toward PTSD therapists than other Aikidoka.

I’m not a psychologist, psychiatrist or psycho- of any kind, so a lot of what follows is based on my direct experience. I may traffic in generalizations, but I have found them to be generally true. I do not espouse Aikido as a therapy for Combat Related PTSD. My experience is that it can be therapeutic, and when utilized as part of an overall therapy prescription it can support and amplify other therapeutic approaches and be especially effective with individuals with different learning processes. I have come across a significant amount of material which tends to support this and has influenced what I have done with the Vets.

Which gets me to the theme of this blog, the mind/body/spirit dichotomy that seems to pervade current therapeutic approaches to CRPTSD. Is it valid, and what is the role Aikido can play in bringing about a more holistic therapy? To start with, the concept of a separation of mind, body and spirit is an artificial construct which arose in Western thought. In most Eastern thought the mind and body are recognized, but as integral parts of a whole. One could not be considered except in a relationship to the other.

The current treatment of PTSD is oriented primarily toward the mind, the mental/emotional state, utilizing medications and various forms of talk therapy. However, the root of most PTSD, especially Combat Related PTSD, comes from physical trauma, fear of physical trauma, or the dehumanization an individual undergoes from having done or acquiesced to things which have been deemed heinous their entire lives. This could be termed kinesthetic trauma. [An interesting question might be whether people who are kinesthetic learners have a higher rate or deeper symptoms of PTSD.] In that case, to treat PTSD on a intellectual/mental/emotional basis with out a strong kinesthetic component might be less than effective.

One of the strengths inherent in the practice of Aikido is that we always work with a partner. This is a collaborative partnership with one person called nage [which roughly translates as student], practicing a technique, and the other person, called uke [which roughly translates as teacher], executing an attack,. This is not the violent attack/defend/defeat dynamic common to many martial arts, which can trigger many of the negative reactions of someone with PTSD. The student does not take an attacker’s energy and use it against them, Rather the student moves off of the line of attacking energy, blending that energy with their own, and bringing themselves and the attacker to a place which is safe and secure. The teacher does not attack in order to crush or defeat, but rather to enable the student to practice and learn a technique. In Aikido, the emphasis is on doing something with someone, not to someone.

Many treatment programs do encourage participation in Yoga, Tai Chi, Qui Gong, etc. These definitely bring a physical component to the treatment program and can be very effective in promoting inner calm, centering, reduced stress and relaxation. However, they are arts in which you essentially work alone. These forms lack a direct, physical relationship with the feelings of vulnerability and helplessness that are often the root of the underlying trauma. While an instructor can correct a technique, there is little immediate and direct feedback and the tactile experience is minimal. Introspection also does not deal directly with the sense of guilt and shame which come from having done vicious, violently repulsive things to others in order to preserve the self, nor does it give access to ways to deal effectively with the guilt of having to respond to aggression with greater aggression, violence with greater violence.

Unlike the other arts, working with a partner on an Aikido technique involves close proximity with an “aggressor” and a simulated attack. This gives rise to feelings of vulnerability. Even 41 years after any combat experience and 42 years practicing Aikido, I can still experience this feeling of vulnerability, and the fear of being harmed or having to react “wrongly”. Properly taught, Aikido gives effective, non-violent, non-aggressive methods, physical, mental and spiritual, for resolving this dilemma. Aikido has taught me to relax my tension, center myself physically, mentally and emotionally, to welcome the aggression as an opportunity to learn. It has taught me to move into the aggression, but off the line of the “attack”, to accept the energy of the attack and blend it with my own energy, to move this blended energy until the aggressor and I are both in a safe and secure place. Of course, I want to make certain that I am the most secure.

An additional kinesthetic re-enforcement is that techniques work really well only when the individual is centered, relaxed and balanced mentally and physically and follows the above steps. As it is learned physically, on the mat, it is internalized and becomes an integral way to deal with feelings of vulnerability, attack and situations of aggression off the mat. This “way of dealing” quickly becomes the method for dealing with all forms of conflict and potential conflict, not just the physical. It does not matter how conscious one is of this learning. Covert is often much more effective than overt.

Most forms of PTSD therapy pay scant attention to the spiritual aspect of being human. There may possibly be some religious intervention, but in general short shrift is given to the moral, ethical, quandary victims of combat related PTSD often must confront. While Aikido is definitely not theological/ religious, it has a pervasive spirituality. The founder of Aikido, Morihei Ueshiba [O Sensei] wrote "The secret of Aikido is to harmonize with the movement of the universe and bring ourselves into accord with the universe itself." O-Sensei maintained that Aikido is a work of love, a path to overcome discord in ourselves and bring peace to the world, "to make the heart of the universe one's own heart." He described Aikido as an art of peace and viewed its practice as a spiritual endeavor. O-Sensei taught that, while it was important to become proficient in physical technique, this is not the ultimate purpose of training. He taught that the principles learned through training in physical technique are universal and are to be applied to all aspects of one's life "The secret of Aikido is not how you move your feet, it is how you move your mind. I'm not teaching you martial techniques. I'm teaching you nonviolence,” Giji Munetaka Kuki sums up: "O-Sensei said Aikido is not about technique, but that it is about how humans should live their lives. Aikido is not really about theory or rationalization. The spirit of Aikido is to create a sphere, a warm sphere, a warm circle of harmonious feeling among people so that people can get along with each other with warm-hearted feeling."

Again, one can not execute truly effective technique without achieving, even if subconsciously, this sense of being one with ones attacker, that uke and nage are both of the same universe. The physical process of learning is one with growth of the mental/emotional/spiritual parts of being a human being.

Thus, Aikido can be a powerful, effective therapeutic tool when integrated into a varied program of therapy. More in my next blog as to how this might happen.

HOW DO YOU "LAY OFF" A VOLUNTEER?

2010-11-15T17:29:00.000-08:00

11/15/10 NOTE: This might be the next-to-the-last entry in this blog for a while. I’ve been “laid off”. I don’t know how you lay off a volunteer, but someone or ones in Ward 8 decided that with program changes, etc. they did not have a time when they could offer Aikido. Whatever! I don’t want to try to figure why this actually happened, but as most of the key staff are “shrinks” of one kind or another, I don’t think they place much credence in the therapeutic value of physical activity or that they understood the mental/motional the practice of Aikido can have..

This happened back mid September, and I haven’t posted anything because I wanted to take this time to define why I think Aikido can particularly useful in helping people deal with PTSD as a critical part of a “treatment plan”, and not just physical exercise or to merely amuse or occupy time. My belief, and experience, is that properly taught, Aikido can complement and amplify more traditional therapies and be used by therapists in grounding their more intellectually based, “talk therapy” efforts.

I’m going to take some time and try to write out exactly why I think this is true. I have a lot of ideas, thoughts, theories and vague hunches so I need to clarify this mishigas, and bring it together into something concrete. When I get this done, once again I will rely on your feedback and criticism.

MUSUBI - THE HEART OF AIKIDO

2010-09-06T10:51:00.000-07:00

9/6/10 NOTE; Musubi, to join, connect, unify, tie together.

Mary Heiny Sensei calls musubi “the heart of Aikido”. And on a personal level, on those rare occasions when I feel the wonder and power of a technique done extremely well, it was as if uke and I were one smoothly flowing unity. No you and me. Not even an us. Just a being, a gestalt. Even when I am uke, when this happens it is so beautiful, I just lay on the mat laughing. [New people to the dojo are certain I am crazy.] This is why I practice Aikido. Not as a form of self-defense, but for the opportunity to be something more than I am. A place in which I can lose myself in order to be something more. I apologize, I don’t think I’m describing this very well. It is like trying to describe blue to someone when I have only had a peek at it myself. Aikido is like a physical koan.

If I can help the vets get a sense of this concept of musubi, of the power of giving up the “self” to become something positive, rather than fearing the loss of self because of actions done to or by them, then hopefully they can see a way out of the self-defeating, downward spiral in which they see themselves caught. If they can come to realize that the anger, vulnerability, fear, aggressiveness they carry can be a source of energy they can tap in order to blend, to join with a threatening situation or individual, then they may begin to feel more control over, more possession of their own self.

Most of the guys start off impressed by the power they see in a technique. They then begin to feel the increased control they have over uke the more they center and relax their own physical strength. And sometimes a little light comes on when they do a technique with uke, not to uke. That’s the little light I work towards.

LEARNING FROM THE WALKING WOUNDED

2010-09-03T09:20:00.000-07:00

9/3/10 w&f [0s, 5v] B Don’t seem to have any staff currently interested. I did have a vet with a bad back, and one who needed a cane to walk and had an arm in a sling. This made me really concentrate on how various techniques worked, and how to simplify them so the walking wounded could still use them effectively.

The vet with the bad back said that when he used the relaxing and centering principles throughout the day, it eased a lot of the pain in his back. He was working on moving smoothly and with “more aikido kind of posture” and this also helped.

Working together with the vet with the cane and sling, we were able to see how maintaining even the slightest contact and pressure on nage in the direction their momentum/energy/center was moving enabled excellent control, even when doing technique one handed, and with somewhat awkward foot movement. He was even able to do a very smooth ikyo [#1] with out grasping til the very end. This guy could be great when he gets both arms working.

Once again, I seem to be learning more from these guys than I am teaching. Sometimes it is easy to forget the power of "beginners mind".

GETTING A RETURN ON INVESTMENT

2010-08-27T07:30:00.000-07:00

8/27/10 w,w,f [0s, 12-1v] A Classes have ranged from 12 vets to just one today. Most days I had 3-4 fairly serious regulars. I spoke with a staff and he said the problem is that a lot of the current group “blew out” of the program in the first and second week. He said some groups have a lot of vets with some real, major problems. As supportive as the program and staff are, some guys can’t deal with one or more of the conditions or treatments.

In some ways the small groups allow me to personalize what and how I teach. I have been able to build some relationships that kind of allow me to use teaching a technique a certain way to ease someone through a personal issue. It is difficult, because I not only have to focus on the technique I want to teach, I have to be relaxed and centered enough to be sensitive to where each guy is, not just in technical ability, but emotional condition as well.

As difficult as this may be, it seems to be helping my own Aikido as well. Sort of what I am giving out is an investment on which I am getting a significant return. I wish I could do as well with my finances.

AMERICANIZED NAMES

2010-08-15T07:26:00.000-07:00

Americanized Names for Techniques

Given the short time I have with these vets, and my own dyslexic inability to learn a foreign language [after 43 years I think I finally have the difference down between yokomen uchi and shomen uchi] I am trying to use Americanized terms. Some of these are descriptive terms rather than an attempt to do a translation from the Japanese. Some are probably completely wrong. Some are descriptions of standing pins I have developed from throws.

I would greatly appreciate any advice on this, remembering that I need easily remembered, fairly descriptive terms.

Static stances [Unfortunately, almost all of our work is done from static]

Mirror stance Gyaku Homni

Cross stance Ai Homni

Attacks

Shoulder grab [one hand] Katadori kah-tah doe-ree

Grab shoulders with both hands Ushiro watte kumi tsuki

Single wrist grab [mirror stance] Katate Dori kah-tah-the doe-ree

Single wrist grab [Cross stance] Gyakute Dori gyah-koo-the doe-ree

Grab both wrists Ryote Dori ree-oh-the doe-ree

Grab one wrist with both hands Morote Dori moe-roe-the doe-ree

Grab elbow Hiji Dori he-jee doe-ree

Grab sleeve Sode dori:

Grab lapel with one hand Eri Dori eh-ree doe-ree

Grab lapels from front with both hands Mae eri shimeage

Chop to top of the head Shomen uchi show-mehn oo-chee

Chop to the side of the head/neck Yokomen uchi yo-co-mehn oo-chee

Straight punch to stomach Mune tsuki moo-net skee

Grab both wrists from the rear Ushiro ryote dori

Grab head/neck from rear [choke] Ushiro kubi jime katate dori

Grab around chest from rear Ushiro watte kumi tsuki

grab two hands from rear Ushiro ryote dori:

Defenses

First form #1 straight wrist Ikkyo ee-kyoh

Second form #2 bent wrist [finger] Nikyo knee-kyoh

Third form #3 wrist twist inside Sankyo sahn-kyoh

Fourth form #4 forearm nerve point Yonkyo yohn-kyoh

Fifth form #5 back of wrist to floor Gokyo go-kyoh

Sixth form #6 Wrist twist outside Kote gaeshi co-the gah-eh-she

Entering movement Irimi nage e-ree-mee nah-geh

Rotary movement Kaiten nage kigh-ten nah-geh

Breath/relationship throw Kokyu nage co-kew nah-geh

Four direction throw Shiho nage shee-ho nah-ghe

Corner throw Sumi otoshi sue-mee oh-toe-she

Heaven and Earth pin Tenchi nage tehn-chee nah-geh

Wrist twist to shoulder pin Kote Gaeshi co-the gah-eh-she

Rear arm bar

Side arm bar

Front head lock & arm pin

Rear head lock & arm pin

Rear neck pin/choke [use extreme caution]

Nape of neck moving pin

Snake arm pin

THERE IS A GLIMMER OF HOPE

2010-08-11T08:14:00.000-07:00

8/11/10 w [2s 6v] I Although I started out with six vets, three of them had to leave about halfway through, and the staff dropped out even sooner than that. One of the vets returned after about 20 minutes.

We did ikyo, nikyo, sankyo and Kote gaeshi from ai homni. The four vets I ended up with are very focused on pretty much every aspect of each technique. They really work at being relaxed and balanced throughout. I told them this, but got confused looks when I then said working at being relaxed is sort of an oxymoron. They would reach the next “level” when they didn’t have to work at it, they would just be relaxed. I think two of them began to get a glimmer of an idea as to what I meant.

VARIETY AIDS THE LEARNING PROCESS

2010-08-08T12:51:00.000-07:00

8/08/10 w&f [2s 12v] B Given the size of our “dojo”, this is about as large a class as I want. Four vets are back from last week and the 2 staff are new to the program, nurses or interns I’m not sure.

As I said in the NOTE on 8/3, I tried having the vets do ikyo omote to a ground or take-down pin if they wanted. Four of them did/took the pin. The response was “Well there seemed to be a be a bit more control, but I don’t see much benefit to it.” and “Okay, but I don’t think it teaches me anything new.”. Remember, these guys tend to be extremely pragmatic. One of the things they have consistently said they like about Aikido is that it is highly functional and very efficient. Can’t argue with them there! But I think I will do the take-down pins once in a while when I feel there are a few guys who will gain from it, like the chairkido.

I am feeling like I am getting too repetitious with no clear sense of what I am going to do as I come into the class each time. Sometimes I feel like I am not giving them as much as I would like, and greater variety could help. I think that the kinesthetic learning process is stronger when the learning objective, the basic principles, are learned through a wide variety of approaches. With this in mind, I think I am going to sketch out a six week curriculum that will help me teach techniques from as wide a variety of attacks as possible.

IS AIKIDO ONLY ONE THING?

2010-08-04T17:59:00.000-07:00

8/3/10 NOTE: I really like doing this blog. Well, I don’t like writing it much, but I do like having written it. And I especially like doing a section where I get some good responses and generate some good discussion. The last section [8/1/10] is one of those that is generating some good replies on the AikiWeb Aikido Forums, External Aikido Blog Posts [www.aikiweb.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=79] It goes to show how vibrant and alive is the art and the community of Aikido.

The discussions I have read in most martial arts forums usually start with “my form/style/school is different than yours”, but rapidly move to “my form is better than everything else.” and often deteriorate to “ your form sucks and your mother wears combat boots”. Aikido forums mostly stay with the first level of discourse. And given what I am trying to do, with the people I have as students, I appreciate the strong opinions I am getting, both pro and con. They force me to more closely examine what I am doing and why I am doing or not doing a particular thing. And sometimes I can bring what I am doing more in line with traditional dojo teaching, sometimes not.

For example, today I started the class with ikyo omote, but only bringing uke to a standing pin. I then got a volunteer and demonstrated the same technique but brought him to a smooth, soft ground pin. I then gave those people who wanted, the option of doing the standing or the ground pin, based on what their physical limitations allowed. Some guys tried the ground pin. What was interesting was how people began to see how important it was taking relaxed and balanced ukemi.

All that being said, personally I don’t see there being one fixed and rigid Aikido. From what I can tell, O Sensei’s Aikido grew and changed through out his life. The great consistency was that Aikido should be “a way to peace in the world”. I have done a fair amount of traveling and try to put in some practice with what ever dojo is in the area. While I almost always learned, the dojos I gained the most from were those in which the sensei and most of the students practiced technique as a way to the inner strength and self knowledge that enables them to move through life calmer, more peacefully and more in control of themselves and circumstances as they come at them.

To me these are the core principles of Aikido. They are the structure, the skeleton on which can be built a flexible, highly adaptable, organic body of practice and technique. Thus, Aikido can be appropriate to almost anyone, no matter what their age, gender or physical ability. At one time it was believed that women were not physically capable of practicing or learning Aikido. Even today there are those who hold that children can not, should not learn Aikido. Of course we know that Aikido is not suitable for those with physical disabilities, the wheelchair bound, the blind, the aged and decrepit, etc, etc, etc.

It only takes a few minutes running through the internet to prove all of those assumptions wrong, and that one of the great strengths of Aikido is that with careful thought, aikido can be, has been, is constantly being, adapted to meet the needs and capabilities of all those people with out losing or violating the core principles and practices. To hold that Aikido can only be taught in such a way that it can only be practiced by athletic young men is quaint, but denies the it’s vast range of possibilities. I mean if some arthritic, 71 year old, duffer can’t practice what am I going to do four times a week?

NO THROWS AIKIDO

2010-08-01T11:56:00.000-07:00

NOTE; A few people have questioned why I do not teach throws. I have found three reasons for doing techniques to a standing pin, as opposed to finishing with a throw or a ground pin.

Site limitations

It is very rare to find any kind of mat in a VA facility. Much more usual is linoleum, wood, concrete slab or rug on slab. These all preclude any type of throw. I may do an occasional take down to a ground pin, but I usually only do a demonstration if I have a vet who I feel can take the move safely. There have always been a number of vets in each class who do not have the flexibility or capability to get down on the ground safely.

Teaching objective versus time limitations

Learning to do even basic falls safely, can take many classes, even in a dojo with adequate mats. Plus, falls and rolls are rarely useful in the real world, and probably won’t be particularly helpful in dealing with their PTSD issues. As I normally have vets for only a few weeks, I would much rather commit the time to giving them exposure to principles and practices which can be of value in their day-to-day living.

Learning advantages

An Aikido, technique is a process, it is not an end. In the dojo it sometimes seems as if most nage are focusing intensely on getting to the end of a technique, the throw. All to often the process between the attack and throw are rushed through, often given short shrift. There is not adequate focus on the intermediate motions and actions that bring you to, and allow a successful finish. This lack of attention to the process also often results in a loss if control of uke. [NOTE; working with people who don’t know how to “take ukeme” has shown me how often I am apt to lose control during a technique because my technique is not consistantly focused on where I am “now” as a part of a flowing process. I’m not always sure the vets are learning much, but I am learning an enormous amount about the misperceptions, subtle weaknesses and glaring faults in my own Aikido.]

When doing a technique to a standing pin, there in no idea of “throwing uke away”. As the desired end result is to hold uke in a safe and controlled position, there is more focus on attaining and maintaining control through out the entire technique. Students quickly find that a smooth, balanced flow is what best allows firm control from the initiating attack through to the final pin, where, as on of the vets put it, “Now we can talk this situation over. Right?”

Of course, it would be best to teach technique to both a standing pin and a throw. But without mats, I can’t do that. And I really believe it would be very benificial to occasionally do techniques to a standing pin as a part of a regular dojo’s learning process.

TOO ANGRY AND TOO OLD

2010-07-29T11:00:00.000-07:00

7/29/10 w [0s, 3v] B Small group. All new people, although four guys made it a point to see me before class to let me know they had some kind of appointment or an injury really bothering them, but they would be at the next class.

Of the three new people, two expressed doubts about taking the class as they had real problems with anger and reacted “badly” in stressful situations. One vet said he “was a real bull in a china shop”. I told them that I thought that Aikido could give them a very viable way to use that anger as a source of energy to deal effectively, but non-violently with stressful situations. I only asked them to be aware of when they initially began to sense those feelings and use the relaxing to center technique I would be showing them, or to let me know when they began to feel they might be losing control. At the end of class, one of them said that he thought this might actually help him. He’ll see at the end of the six weeks.

The other vet said he didn’t know if he could do it as he was pretty old, 65 [a mere youth]. I talked about moving smoothly, doing warmups, not stretches, and how relaxing to center allows you to be more sensitiva to your own body, as well as partners energy. At the end of the class he said, “I love this stuff. Can I do it when I go back home?” Since he lives in Framingham, I will direct him to Framingham Aikikai, Halprin Sensei’s dojo.

"MAKE YOUR AIKIDO YOUR OWN"

2010-07-22T12:31:00.000-07:00

7/22/10 w [5v] These five vets have been pretty consistent for the last six weeks. This means two things; I will loose them after this week, I will have a whole new group next week. It has been nice to have some consistency in the group and be able to move them from the absolute basic techniques to more complex moves.

I started them with basic two hand grab to the shoulders. One of the vets asked if I could repeat the nikyo from a cross hand grab. I had them work on this a bit, then decided to try something different. I talked about breathing and relaxing to center, joining partners center to their center and moving smoothly. I then invited them to experiment with the cross hand grab, and see what they could do while maintaining those basic points. They really got into this and while there were some interesting variations, they mostly re-invented existing techniques. All I did was work with them on being relaxed, centered and smooth, and left them to play with technique.

After class, one of the guys came up to me and thanked me, “I think I learned more in this class than before”. I think this is a fairly accurate way to evaluate wether or not I am being successful in teaching what I think is most important. As Satome says, “You must make your Aikido your own”. But if I am not giving a solid grounding in the basics, they have no solid foundation to base “their own” on.

CHANGES IN EVALUATIVE CRITERIA

2010-07-15T10:56:00.000-07:00

7/15/10 Note: Changes in my evaluative criteria. Way back at the beginning of this blog, I tried to lay out what I wanted to accomplish for and with the vets, how I wanted to do that, and some ways to tell if I was being successful. These were;

GOALS: While I want the class to be an enjoyable break from their regular schedule, I really want to give people something positive they can use outside of class, in their regular life, dealing with their real life issues. Properly taught, the physical activity should have an effect on their mental/emotional activity [kinesthetic learning]. It doesn’t really matter if they are consciously aware of this. Covert can often work better than overt.

Based on discussions with the staff and given the time and location realities:

1. Stress the collaborative nature of aikido practice, Nage as teacher, Uke is student.

2. All techniques will end with a standing pin, occasionally a take down. No throws or falls.

3. Concentrate on basic moves and techniques; 1 & 2 hand grabs, shoulder grabs, shomenuchi.

No tsuki [punch] as it could be a bit too risky with this group.

4. Drill on the 5 points of technique

A. welcoming “attack” and relaxing to center

B. getting “off the line” and entering

C. blending attacker’s [Uke] “center” with defender’s [Nage]

D. Nage utilizes technique to move their own body, maintaining relaxed and centered movement and not focusing on Uke

E. coming to a place where the attacker is secure and both participants are safe

[especially Nage]

EVALUATION: To evaluate progress/success on these I’ve come up with the following set of goals;

1. That guys will enjoy the class and keep coming

2. That there will be a good interaction among the various “demographics” of the group and a sense of group will develop

3. Guys will learn and demonstrate an ability to consciously relax and center when “attacked”/stressed

4. Staff will have some commonly held language they can use to help Vets in certain situations, i.e. relax, center, breath down

5. All of these will carry over outside of class.

I’ve been able to look at these every once in a while to help keep myself on track and to keep changing things appropriately. At this point I can up-date a couple of things;

Under GOALS;

A. welcoming “attack” and relaxing to center when feeling vulnerable, and utilizing that “vulnerability” as a strength

D. Nage utilizes technique to move their own body, maintaining relaxed, balanced and centered movement and not focusing on Uke

Under EVALUATION;

2. Eliminate.

Insert after 3 [as 4] “People will exhibit more centered, relaxed and balanced movement.

5. Vets will feel/evidence an ability to deal more confidently with situations of vulnerability outside of class.

These aren’t major changes. Eliminating #2 was just a recognition that these guys are a pretty tight group based on their common military background and the fact that the PTSD gives them a lot in common. Changes and additions are focused on mainly dealing more, and more effectively, with the issue of vulnerability, and using the basics of Aikido to cope. This is based on Staff feedback, discussions with the guys, and my own experiences. I have to find more and better ways to include this issue throughout my program.

Manual In Progress

2010-07-09T19:01:00.000-07:00

7/9/10 I have had basically the same group of 4 - 6 guys for a while now, although a couple of the guys have been actively recruiting among new people so there were two new people and 3 guys returning for their three week “refresher” this morning. While I am not doing many new techniques, I am able to focus more on the basics of breathing to center and relaxing, turning vulnerability into a strength, and moving smoothly and in balance.

NOTE: I have spoken with three aikidoka over the last while who are interested in starting a similar program in their area. In response to this I have been working on writing a manual based in part on this blog, your comments and suggestions and some of my own mind trash. I will keep you posted.

I have come across a blog that is proving to be very useful, www.ptsdcombat.blogspot.com I would recommend it.

WORKING HARD AT NOT TRYING

2010-06-30T12:43:00.000-07:00

6/30/10 [4v] Small class today but all four vets have been seriously involved for 3 to 4 weeks. I was able to give each guy a considerable amount of individual attention. We spent almost the whole class working on shiho nage and I was able to work through it one aspect at a time, pointing out to each guy how relaxing to center, balance, focusing on one’s own posture made a difference at every point in the technique. There were a number of “AH HA!” moments and “Oh! So that’s how it works!”. And best of all, when was able to tell someone that “that was excellent”, I would get a slightly surprised look, and “but it didn’t feel like I did anything”.

I said that one of the most important things to learn in Aikido, is that you have to work very, very hard, at not doing anything. But, the harder you worked at not doing anything, the harder it was to not do anything, so you might as well just relax, and not try to do anything, and it will get done. I said it was like a physical Koan. The great thing was, at the end of the class, three guys said that now they understood what I meant.

I’m not real sure I understand, but every once in a while-----

I had an Aikidoka friend who was also an avid golfer. He said golf was like Aikido. You try and practice and work at it for years, and just when you think about giving up, you hit that perfect shot, your swing is sweet and effortless, the ball sails out straight, true and far. It is a thing of beauty. You laugh and congratulate yourself, and you are sucked in to more years of trying for that feeling again.

But, damn, it makes it all worthwhile.

NEVER STRETCH BEFORE CLASS! huh?

2010-06-27T17:19:00.000-07:00

6/27/10 NOTE: There has been a lot written lately about the negative impact of doing stretches before physical activity. I would argue that the problem arises from doing stretches wrong. I remember doing PT in the service and before sports. The rule was “no pain, no gain”. We were push through the pain and to bounce the stretch to get that extra inch. I can distinctly remember two groin pulls and more hamstring and back pulls, even when I was in my late teens/early twenties and in the best shape of my life. [Ah! But a memory now.]

I want to explain my approach to how I start most classes, what most dojos call “stretches”, and why I do my starting exercises the way I do. This has been a development based on my own failing body’s response to several versions of pre-class stretches and a couple of things I have read. Many of these vets are older and most have physical issues ranging from arthritis to serious disabilities earned in combat. Most of my technical information comes from an article by Roger Cole “a mindful stretch”, in Yoga Journal, August, 2009.

Cole describes the biomechanics; “Your nervous system uses the stretch reflex, a specialized reflex that regulates the length of your muscles. When ever you elongate a muscle beyond a certain preset length or unconsciously stretch it to fast, this reflex makes the muscle automatically contract so you can’t lengthen it any further.” It is this “automatically stabilizing function” that essential in daily life; e.g. standing erect, but also results in pain when stretching.

Cole further explains; “The stretch reflex is initiated by sensors, called stretch receptors, which are embedded within muscle. Whenever you stretch a muscle, you also stretch the sensors, which stimulates them to send nerve signals to your spinal cord. These signals electrically excite spinal nerve cells called alpha motor neurons. If the excitation is strong enough, the alpha motor neurons send return signals back to the stretching muscle. If the return signals are strong enough, they make the muscle contract, preventing it from lengthening any further and often bringing it back to it’s original length.” Thus, the end result of “stretches” can be pain, and worse, a tightening up of the muscle which can lead to stiffness of movement and possible cramping or pulled muscles.

The first thing I have done is to modify my language. The first ten minutes or so of class I call warm ups, I do not say “stretch you arm”, rather “extend”. I start off, as most dojos do, with breathing. I use this as an opportunity to get them to relax to their center. I use the five points for inhaling through the nose; relax the glutes, expand the lower abdomen, upper abdomen, diaphragm and upper chest. In exhaling through the mouth, unlock [relax] the muscles, starting with the scalp, face, shoulders, upper back, chest, lower back, and settling the energy obtained by this unlocking in the hara [abdomen]. I often remark that this unlocking lowers the center of gravity and allows greater flexibility and speed.

I find it important to speak in practicalities, stressing the “body physics” and improvements in strength, balance, movement, etc. Hopefully, at some point the vets will discover “ki”, but there isn’t enough time in six short weeks, 12 classes, to bring it up directly.

From breathing I do somewhat traditional “stretching” movements, working from the feet up. However, I stress smooth, slow movement, no bouncing, relaxing into the extension, focusing movement in each particular muscle group. I do each movement two or three times, focusing on breath; the first time very mild extension, the second a midrange extension and the third time extending just to the point where “stretch” is felt, then holding it, taking a deep inhale, and exhale slowly as they relax/unlock into the extension. I emphasize that at no point should they go past their “comfort point”. As we move to a different muscle group, I have them picture tapping into the store of energy they have accumulated in their center. Because of the limits of our dojo we don’t do any floor work. But if we could, I would use the same principles.

Guys often remark how much they look forward to the neck exercises, or the wrist movements, or that they could never even get close to their toes before. A couple of people have said the only reason they keep coming is a great way to relax and get ready for the day.

I realize I have a special group of people with some unique issues and needs. But I think any dojo, or any sports group, should take a serious look at the “stretching” routine they use. If people want to do traditional “stretching”, it would best be done after class, when the body is thoroughly, warmed up.

AIKIDO AND CHOCOLATE CAKE

2010-06-21T11:37:00.000-07:00

6/21/10 NOTE: I forgot to add the following story to my last blog. It’s a true story about the power of Aikido in an aggressive situation.

Edward was 14 years old and had been studying Aikido since he was 4 ½ . We were at his Aunt’s for the big family Christmas dinner. His cousin’s fiancee, Jon was there. Jon was 26 and had been practicing Brazilian Jujitsu for 6 years, owned several MMA schools, and was rumored to be heavy into steroids.

We had just finished dinner and were standing around the living room while desert was being put on the table. Jon walked up to Edward, grabbed his shoulder and drew back his fist as if to punch Edward in the face.

“What would your Aikido do about this” he said.

“Your going to punch me out right here in your Mother-In-Law’s living room?”

“No. But what if we were outside?”

“Well, why don't you go outside and see.”

Jon went slamming outside. Edward sat down at the table and took a piece of chocolate cake.

After about 5 minutes standing outside in the cold and snow, Jon came bursting back in and stormed over to Edward.

“Your not outside.”

“That’s right, want a piece of cake?”

Jon looked a bit perplexed. Sort of grinned. Mussed Edwards hair. And sat down to eat.

Afterwards, I asked Edward how he felt. He said he was “scared shitless. All I could remember was Sensei saying ‘get off the line’”.

GETTING OFF THE LINE

2010-06-18T10:02:00.000-07:00

6/18/10 w&f [W 1s, 13v, F 0s, 6v] I Some Fridays attendance seems to be a bit low. I was told that a lot of guys have other commitments on Fridays, lab work, assessments and such. As long as my plan is to work with whomever shows up, I don’t get bummed out by attendance. In other words, it is what it is, it ain’t neither good or bad.

Did some techniques requiring more movement and control of uke’s movement. I wanted them to realize how important it was to focus on their self, on moving with their hips and center and not being so locked into what they were trying to do to their partner. Did some chairkido and drew in a couple of vets who had physical issues but who were watching closely. I do like that look when someone realizes that just because they are physically handicapped doesn’t mean they totally vulnerable and defenseless.

I often talk about how Aikido principles can be applied to everyday situations. I gave the example of “getting off the line” using Aikido principles, but not actual technique. I asked if they had had situations where Aikido principles could have helped them arrive at a better resolution. This led to some interesting discussions. Guys were a bit surprised at how differently aggression/stressful situations could be dealt with. And how much better win-win, peaceful resolutions leave them feeling, even if only in hypothetical situations.

I think this is something I will try occasionally.

THE CONUNDRUM OF "RELAXING"

2010-06-12T15:18:00.000-07:00

6/12/10 NOTE: A brief note on the issue of “relaxing”. This morning in class at my dojo, Todd Martin Sensei was talking about posture when taking ukemi and the need to give up your balance an stay relaxed so that you can protect yourself and flow with the technique. When a student asked how to relax while being spun around and thrown, Todd had us stand, take a deep breath, and picture our muscles “unlocking”, starting with the scalp and moving down through the face, neck, shoulders, and on down. I tried it, and have tried it a number of times and in a number of situations [sitting here typing for example] and it works even better than my usual relaxation techniques. Probably because I am fairly visually oriented and I can picture actual little locks in my muscles opening up and the tension and excess energy draining down to my center.

For me, anyhow, this effectively resolves the linguistic oxymoron of relaxing without collapsing. Somewhere, in some language there must be a word that really describes this phenomenon.

"I DON'T WANT TO DO WAR NO MORE"

2010-06-12T10:25:00.000-07:00

6/9 & 11/10 w&f [1s,12 v both days] B 13 people both days. That is probably the max I can work with effectively at one time. It is not just a matter of the restricted space we have, I could not give the kind of attention needed if there were more people. In a regular dojo there are students at many different levels of knowledge and it is more a matter of correcting small errors in technique. You also have people long enough to learn their different styles and personalities so you can tailor your individual attention to each one.

Always having a class of absolute beginners for only twice a week, six weeks max requires a rather different approach to teaching; highly individualized and focused on basic principles and only a few techniques. Admittedly, only being able to go to a standing pin and not having to teach or deal with falls, etc. enables me to focus more on techniques. I will repeat, I think every dojo should occasionally do a class only to standing pins. It enables people to focus on the beginning and middle of the movement. Too often we act as if the purpose of a technique is the throw, when, in fact, it is to bring nage and uke to a safe, controled and secure place.

One of the things a few of the people in this class have told me is that they like having a way to respond to attack/aggression without having to “whip on someone” in a way that is controlled and “as peaceful as possible”. Many of these guys are afraid of their own violence, their own anger, and “don’t want to do war no more”. Even if they do not continue with Aikido, they will know there are other, more positive ways to respond to stressful situations.

This is what Aikido has given me. I am glad that I can give some of this to these guys in the short time I have.

FROM SMOOTH, COMES FAST

2010-06-05T11:05:00.000-07:00

6/5/10 NOTE: Back on 5/27, I paraphrased a quote from Kanai Shihan, “Do not try to move fast, practice moving smoothly. Fast will come from smooth”. I got a fair number of comments on the AikiWeb blog posts forum, [www.aikiweb.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=79 ] So I thought I might go into the concept a bit more. I do this for selfish reasons as your comments cause me to look at an issue from a different perspective, and writing my thoughts down helps me organize and firm up those ideas. [I am not very good at self discipline!]

If you notice, the phrase does not say don’t go fast, or don’t aspire to fast technique. It says “don’t try to go fast”. This is very much in keeping with the Zen and Taoist concept that only when one stops trying, can success be achieved. The harder you try to understand a kaon, the less you can, the more confusing and absurd it becomes. Only when you stop exerting the effort to understand, when you relax and stop trying to find THE ANSWER. do you have any chance of arriving at the truth. I can only go to what I have observed in the Aikido of sensei I admire, my own experience, and what I have seen my students go through, to explain why I feel this concept is so critical, and how it affects my Aikido.

Watching those aikidoka who execute Aikido which can only be called beautiful, I observed that there is no point at which technique begins, there is no point at which it is, and there is no point at which it stops, it only ends because it is not occurring anymore. There is a smooth, rhythmic flow. Like ocean waves, they do not attack, but their continuous, effortless, rhythm has extreme power. And their speed is certainly beyond fast.

With my students; When I have them slow down and focus on a smooth flow of their own movement, they execute much better technique and frequently self-correct.

With my own Aikido; Any time we change technique in class, I always start off trying slow, smooth movement. This allows me to focus “in the moment”, on what my technique should be at the time I am doing it. I try not to think about where I am going, just the here-and-now. If I do this properly, I will be able to increase my tempo, without losing that focus.

After I had been practicing with Kanai Shihan for about a year, I frequently paired up with another guy who also liked the smooth is better approach. In one class, I don’t remember what technique we were doing, We both focused on slow, smooth accurate movement. When Sensei clapped, and we stopped, we were both laughing and not the slightest bit out of breath. We looked up, and the rest of the class was standing around us looking a bit amazed. After class, a couple of people said they had never seen anyone move so fast, we were almost a blur. Neither one of us remembered moving at anything but that slow, smooth pace. I often strive for that same effect. I’ve come close I think, but have never had that same experience. Maybe if I am able to stop trying, it will come.

So I will repeat, with a slight editorial change;
Do not try to move fast,
practice moving smoothly.
From smooth, will come fast.
I believe this is what Stefan Stenudd Sensei was describing in his book Aikido Principles in the chapter on “Ki Nagare – flowing training” [www.stenudd.com/aikido/books/aikidoprinciples-2.pdf ]

SHADOW UKE

2010-06-04T12:18:00.000-07:00

6/4/10 F [1S, 12V] B NOTE: To those of you who reminded me that this was something I was doing because it was important to do, to make available to those vets who might find value in it, or at least a break from their regular routine, thank you all. Janet. Your are absolutely right, I should approach this as an artist approaches their passion; do it because I want to do it, because I have to do it. The “appreciation” or participation of others may ebb and flow but should not stop one from practicing their “art”. It is still frustrating, but I sort of knew this from the start. Thank you all for reminding me. I started this blog to serve as a way to force myself to keep a “diary”. Now I have come to rely on your comments, suggestions and critique and the blog has become a partner in what I am trying and y'all are my shadow uke. And I guess I should ease up on the whining.
As for the class; A good mix of new people and those who have had a few classes. A couple of six weekers who were missing last week, showed up today explaining they had other “stuff” scheduled last week.
We did some basic techniques from gyaku homni [mirror stance] and paired new people with former, which does help with a large group like this. I am placing more emphasis on the basics of relaxing to center, maintaining a relaxed, stabile posture and working on smooth movement through out. I have found it helps to have nage “ignore” uke once nage has drawn uke’s center in, and from that point, focus on utilizing technique to move their own body, maintaining relaxed and centered movement and not focusing on Uke. [The fourth point of the five points of technique I outlined at the very beginning of this blog.]
Also, whenever I can I talk about how the techniques of breathing/relaxing to center, approaching a stressful situation with a positive attitude [welcoming attack], and remaining relaxed and balanced through out, can be effectively utilised through out life.

ONWARD IN TO THE FOG

2010-06-03T16:35:00.000-07:00

6/3/10 f [0s, 6v] I & w [0s, 5v] B Wednesday was a fairly good class. Small, but people who seem to really be into it. I told them I wanted to take a few minutes after Friday’s class to get some feedback from them on whether or not they felt they gained much from the class besides some physical activity and if they thought there was anything that could help them “outside”. I was also looking for suggestions as to how I could improve the class, make it more relevant or useful for them.
Friday I had a completely new group! Doing feedback/evaluation would be slightly better than useless.
If I were to identify one of the biggest negatives to doing this class, it would be the inconsistency of the class make up. I can set up my “curriculum” to provide something of value in only 12 classes, but five or three or just once, I feel like it is an exercise in futility.
I’ll keep on keepin on, but!!! When things are going well, doing this class is great. I really enjoy it, I think I am making something valuable available to these guys, and I’m learning a lot about my own Aikido. Maybe I need some serious discussion with the staff.
Onward into the fog!

MOVE SMOOTHLY, NOT FAST

2010-05-29T13:42:00.000-07:00

5/27/10 w [1s, 6v] B Four new vets, although one of the “new” people is back for one of the regular three week tuneups. This is a pretty good program to be associated with. There is good backup support for these guys after they finish the six week program; the scheduled three week and one of two day refreshers when ever someone needs it. This also means that when I do a few minutes feedback this Friday, there will be someone with some feeling as to whether Aikido practice has been any continuing help.
I started with a “new guys” intro but I am continuing to place more emphasis on how relaxing to center, moving from the hips/center, and how powerful it is to maintain a calm mind and smooth, balanced movement throughout a technique. My mantra has sort of become my favorite quote from Kanai Sensei, “Do not try to move fast, practice moving smoothly. Fast will come from smooth”. [Apologies Sensei, if I have misquoted.]
Getting them to focus on slowing down, relaxing the upper body and maintaining balance really makes a difference in their technique. One guy told me “I messed up that technique, but kept my balance and could feel how he was moving, so I ended up in a good pin anyhow!”. One of the vets who has been here for a while said, “It is real nice when sometimes a move just seems to flow!”
It will be nice [I hope] to hear what I get for feedback Friday. Thank you for that suggestion.

SENSITIVITY OF A CLOD

2010-05-19T08:36:00.000-07:00

5/19/10 w [1s, 6v] A I would like to thank everyone for your suggestions. The consensus seemed to be that I should apologize for being such a clod, make it clear that I respect and admire what he did by recognizing that he had hit a “trigger point” and leaving a situation he didn’t feel he could handle. I should also ask if there was anything I could do to help in this kind of situation.

I went up to him before class this morning, and he started to apologize to me! I stopped him, and followed the advice above. He looked a little surprised and then smiled and said that he wasn’t sure if he had handled the situation the right way. I gave him much reassurance and said if he needed, at any time, and as soon as he felt the need, he could just sit out until he felt like he was ready to come back.

I’m going to have a meeting with staff next week to see if there is a better way to deal with these situations, and if I should let them know right away? as soon as class is over? I have to always keep in mind that this is not a regular class at the dojo. These guys have a wide range of issues and, while I want to introduce them to Aikido, my main goal is to give them tools which they can use to enable their ability to deal with those issues. So thank you all for helping me remember this.

We did some more advanced techniques from gyaku. It is interesting that as they have to focus on more complicated movements, they are keeping more relaxed and centered, when they are relaxed and centered, more complicated movement flows more smoothly. A couple of people found that if they do that, they can successfully complete an immobilization, even if they did not do the technique exactly right. After doing one technique very nicely, one vet exclaimed “Oh, that was beautiful.” and his partner said “I didn’t feel a thing until I realized I was pinned.”

Ah! Great strides from little steps.

I REALLY NEED SOME ADVICE

2010-05-14T09:28:00.000-07:00

5/12-14/10 w&f [0s, 8v] A Seven of these guys have been with me three weeks, and will be here three more. I started them off with a continuous, flowing kana henko [enter & turn], then had them doing a form of “sticky hands”. It took a few tries, but as they got the flow of these movements they began to see how the whole dynamic of relax, center, movement from the hips and use of momentum, really fostered control and enabled technique. We then went to a fairly complicated technique from gyaku homni using sankyo and requiring smooth, flowing motion to work. I then used the same technique, but with two different standing pins.
Even the stiffest, most awkward guy is moving smoother. And everyone is consciously taking that deep breath and “setteling” to center. Also, because I can do some more advanced techniques, I’m having more fun myself.

I have a situation though, that I would like some advice on. During this technique, one of the guys apparently hit a trigger point and felt he was loosing his temper. He did recognise this, and felt he had to leave class. He is one of the people showing a lot of progress and I would really like him to stay with the class. I know that sometimes, especially when parterning with someone, usually young, who has a particularly “heavy” technique, I start to loose it. I find I have to step back, sometimes I can just take a couple of deep breaths but I often have to sit on the sideline for a while. To some degree I understand what is happening with him, and I appreciate the control he is showing, but can I approach him with out coming across as patronizing or belitteling? And how best to do this?

In the past you all, my senseis out there, have given me good advice. This time I could really use some help.

THE SATISFACTION OF A GOOD GROUP

2010-05-08T17:53:00.000-07:00

5/7/10 f [0s, 13v] I I really like working with this group. They pay attention, work diligently on each technique with out a lot of idle talk and focus on the breathing and relaxing to center. They respond quickly to corrections on posture and most are beginning to identify, on their own, when they are “muscling” a technique. There is a lot of supportive interaction between the guys who have been taking the class for a couple of weeks and those who just started Monday. I would like to think I am beginning to get my act together, but I just think this is a very good group.
One vet visited the Northampton Aikido last night, and he, and another vet came this morning. One of them has taken Brazilian Jujitsu and Taekwondo. He said at first Aikido looked about the same. But after watching class today he realized there were major differences. The biggest differences he saw were that the person being attacked [nage] was much less aggressive, more relaxed and with a stronger center of balance. The more advanced people just seemed to guide the attacker in throwing themselves. He wants to start practicing at the dojo. As always, we see!

MIDITATION & TEACHING AIKIDO

2010-05-07T07:40:00.000-07:00

5/6/10 NOTE: So how does all this internalization I blathered on about in the blog on 5/01 relate to what I am trying to do for the vets with PTSD? I mean, if I think I’m going to get these guys doing any “meditative Aikido” in six weeks, I will just end up frustrated. Also, I will not be giving them anything of real value, no hints of different ways to deal with aggression, vulnerability, stress.

After some thought, I think my own awareness of the meditative aspects of Aikido can be of benefit in two ways;
The first lies in how I approach the way I teach and run the class. If I stay centered on what I want to accomplish, and how I model aikido it will help me deal with the frustration of having a different group of people every week, with no one for longer than 12 classes. It will help me avoid getting caught up with guys who want to muscle or otherwise “test” my Aikido. [I’ve already screwed up once on that!] And it will help me keep my ego under control and focus on what these vets need that I can provide through Aikido. It will also help me keep my sense of humor. [A very important issue and one I will try to write on later]
Secondly, if I keep the emphasis on the breath/relax to center, discuss it as an important part of every technique, give “homework” to use this in their everyday, and occasionally speak of it as active meditation, I think I can ground the point with them. Then I can hope, when the occasion arises, they will be able to “meditate” as a practical, functional life tool. Conscious or not.

I realize that my approach to meditation needs to be much more along the lines of the Taoist "wu wei", [action that does not involve struggle or excessive effort] than either of the zen schools I mentioned. It kind of means being in the here-and-now, natural action. I realize this is a gross over simplification, but it’s the best I can do with out writing another thesis on the subject. I will probably return to it later though.

WHAT SEEMS TO BE WORKING BEST

2010-05-06T07:18:00.000-07:00

5/5/10 w [1s, 13v] A I think the changes in my intro and the focus I am placing on technique is helping. I am being more up-front about what I hope to give them in this class, i.e., tools to help in dealing with stress, aggression, vulnerability. I am trying to be clear on the fact that, although they may pick up a few effective moves, I can not hope to teach them Aikido in depth in six weeks, 12 classes. What I do hope they will gain is a way, relax, center and to tap their internal strength.

I once said that I don’t study Aikido to learn technique, I study technique to learn Aikido. This is what I want to bring to these vets. They are beginning to see that if they breath/relax to center and move in a smooth, focused way, a technique will work. While I do have them do the movement of a technique properly, I need to stress that if they are not centered and relaxed, the “mechanics” of a technique are at best, awkward, and may not even be possible.

An effective, on-going evaluation of how I am succeeding is seeing how often people take that deep, relaxing breath and let the tension go out, and stay out of their shoulders, and whether or not they move smoothly as they do a technique. The fact that more people are working on this, and quickly recognize when they are “out of phase”, is an indication that the shifts in how I am conducting the class is are becoming more effective, and the directions I want to work in.

AIKIDO AS MEDITATION

2010-05-01T09:18:00.000-07:00

5/1/10 NOTE: I keep thinking about the concept and action of relaxing as it is used in Aikido. I find it the same type of relaxation I have been told I should seek when meditating. When we meditate, we are attempting [non-attempting?] to “let go” of our physical and mental tensions, internal disruptions and distractions. This is usually done by relaxing our entire being [including the effort to relax our entire being!], often by focusing on something such as a tone or our breath, to the exclusion of everything else. Unfortunately, I can not sit quietly for any length of time, for physical reasons as well as serious lack of the sort of self discipline needed. Five minutes of “stillness” and I become a total mental and physical twitch. Like asking a two year old to sit quietly.

But there are two rivers of meditation;
Soto, the calm, placid river which gets its strength from its depth and undercurrents,
Renzai, the active, dashing river which gets its strength from its coursing down a mountain side.

I practice Aikido as a form of active meditation. Often, I will use a technique as the thing to focus on. Ideally, once I have the moves of a technique [waza] and with much practice, I will focus on my breathing and my own center, comfortable in knowing that proper technique will enable partner to “throw them self”.
The thing I am trying to internalize now, is taking that relaxed, centered self off the mat and moving through the day with a “Taoist mind”. I sometimes manage this, particularly when driving or doing some routine work, but damn, it is hard to try, with out trying.

ANOTHER STRENGTH FROM RELAXATION

2010-04-30T11:30:00.000-07:00

4/30/10 f [1s, 8v] I One of the vets who is no longer in ward 8 came to class. Nice, as I was able to have him work with the newest people. We did two versions of shoulder lock [kokunage]. I also printed a hand out of my condensed compilation of some of the history and basic aspects of Aikido, along with an invitation and a map of Northampton Aikido. I also gave homework; they were to try to be aware of stress situations, and as one happened, work on the deep breath-relax-center, dynamic, and see if it helped.
Two of the vets who are leaving the ward came up to me after and thanked me and said that they had located dojos near their home and hoped to continue their Aikido there. I took the opportunity to ask what about Aikido attracted them. One vet said he thought it might give him a way to deal with his anger. Just the relaxing to center when he felt it coming on seemed to help. The other vet said that he liket the way that putting out his energy in class seemed to give him more energy through the day.

NOTE: In the section back in 4/24, I mentioned the vet who didn’t want to do a technique out of fear he would hurt his partner [uke]. I worked with him and as he was doing the technique, talking him through breathing, relaxing as he moved. In that relaxing, he was able to be more sensitive to what was happening to his partner, which enabled him to do the move safely. I realized that when we talk about relaxing, it is almost always in terms of the internal benefits, i.e. enabling us [nage] greater flexibility, endurance and strength. There is a second, and in some ways more important benefit, true relaxation is essential to being fully aware and sensitive to external realities.
O Sensei saw Aikido as the art of peace. To me, this means neutralizing an aggressor, bringing them under control, and either maintaining that control, or sending them on their way, painlessly. [I mean, if you hurt someone, your just apt to piss them off more.] The “painless” part is very difficult. I find that when I am able to be relaxed in a technique, I can tell just when a wrist lock [a nikyo or sankyo] is going to trip my partners pain threshold. If I allow myself to be distracted, to tense up, I loose that sense of what is happening with my partner, the technique is awkward, sometimes painful. If I pause, take that deep, centering breath and relax, that sensitivity is there again.
There is another advantage to that external awareness that comes with being relaxed; I become aware of where my partners energy is and is flowing. Mary Heiny Sensei once spoke of being aware of an attackers “line”, the path their energy is taking from where their feet are planted up through their body to, and through their hand. If I am in a relaxed, sensitive place, I can redirect that flow without having to “grab on”. This can allow a very soft contact and, if done correctly, as I have seen Heiny Sensei do, partner never regains control, often is never even aware of what is happening until it is over. It helps me to consider that “line” to be an attackers “center” and I control it by guiding it to my center or center line and then redirecting it by moving my own body properly.

Personalizing

2010-04-28T08:31:00.000-07:00

4/28/10 w [2s, 9v] B 4 new vets, 1 new staff. Started about 10 minutes late. Did intro talk. Changed it a bit, asked people to think how they would react when someone came “up in their face”. A couple of guys brought their hands up in an attack/defense move, one guy turned away and ducked. I explained that Aikido was a third approach to dealing with aggression and the feeling of vulnerability. This visualization seemed to help get the point across. I want to come up with more ways like this to "personalize" the basics.

Did my usual rap about relaxing, focusing, centering and how breathing can help. Started with warm-ups, stressing breath to center, did enter and turn [irimi nage] solo and partnered. Worked from mirror stance [gyaku homni]. Finished with simple wrist lock. The new staff person is a very petite nurse. For the wrist lock I had her work with a very large vet, six foot two or three. Everyone was a bit amazed at how well the move worked, especially her.

"DEALING WITH STUFF WITH OUT HURTING"

2010-04-24T09:27:00.000-07:00

4/24/10 f [0s, 6 v] I Two new vets. Talked about “mindfulness”, focusing on inner self and each specific area being used in a technique. During warm-ups, stressed breathing and relaxing to center during all warm-up moves, focusing on the muscle group being used.

Worked from gyaku hanmi [cross hold]. Started with ikkyo and progressed to nikkyo, omote [front] and ura [behind]. Most people are relaxing and centering much better.

After demonstrating an ura technique, one of the guys didn’t want to do it. When I talked to him, he said it looked too dangerous to his partner [uke]. I had him do the technique on me as I talked him through it, stressing being relaxed in his upper body so he could be sensitive to the effect the move was having on me [uke]. He did pretty well, so I had him do it a couple of more times with out help. He said I was just going along and letting him do it [which I was the first two times, but not the last] so I had him do it with his partner, who didn’t know how to go along. His comment was,”Oh shit, this stuff really works. I can deal with stuff without hurting anyone!”.

This echos what a number of guys have said, they like knowing that they can deal effectively with aggression with out necessarily hurting anyone. If they learn that relaxing and remaining centered is what does this, I will be giving them the most important skill I can in the six weeks I've got.

Tricks is for kids

2010-04-20T05:39:00.000-07:00

and Aikidoka.
A couple of people have questioned my use of the word "tricks". Someone even said Aikido is too serious to to be tricky.
Substitute "techniques" for tricks. They actually have very similar definitions, I just like to think of them as tricks. It helps me keep a sense of humor, which helps me relax and have fun, which loosens me up and helps me have fun, relax and center. Sometimes when I do a technique so well it just "clicks", I think it is the funniest, most wonderful thing. Sensei used to get on my case for laughing in class. Now I think he understands.
I mean, I think aikido is the most second best serious fun thing you can do.

Relax & Center. Everything else is tricks

2010-04-16T13:03:00.000-07:00

4/16/10 f [0s, 6v] I Had 2 vets show up who are no longer in the PTSD program, but are still at the VA facility. They said they would still show up, and they are. I told one of them, if there were 6 or so vets in where ever he is now who might want to do aikido, I would be glad to do something with them. He said he would really like that and he thought there might be a few guys who would want to do it. He also said he is working on getting a pass for Saturday so he could come to the dojo.
I took a couple of new guys through the relaxation demo described above. They said they could feel the difference. When we did irimi tenkan [enter & turn] I had them try doing the move with upper body strength and when they felt “locked up”, I told them to relax to their center, and finish the technique. I did this a few weeks ago, and got the same results this time, people really noticed the “power shift”, the change in how they gained and held control when they were relaxed.
We finished up with some chair techniques. One of the things this demonstrates is how important it is not to use upper body strength. In a chair it is much easier to utilize your naturally lowered center of gravity.

2010-04-14T09:09:00.000-07:00

4/14/10 w [2s, 8v] A 4 new vets, 1 new staff. After warmups I talked about “relaxing” and how posture, standing erect, not straight or slumping, plays a role in how to relax and lower the center of gravity. Used Abrams Sensei’s process on two vets to demonstrate. Then we did techniques from ai hanmi and as I went around I showed how keeping an erect, but relaxed and centered posture helped. It not only made their technique stronger, with out correct posture, the technique could hardly be done.

NOTE; I am finding as I incorporate new facets of teaching, I drop approaches and language I was using and it makes my teaching more effective, simpler and more direct. It is also showing up in my own practice at the dojo.

TEACHING RELAXATION

2010-04-10T07:54:00.000-07:00

4/10/10 NOTE: 4/10/10 NOTE: One of the things I hope to give my vets is the ability to relax when faced with a situation of vulnerability or stress. I was going back through the AikiWeb External Aikido Blog Posts and re-read Sensei Mark Abrams blog on relaxing, www.aikiweb.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17810 .
I highly recommend reading it. I like both his thoughts and theories and especially his process for enabling his students to experience, experiment and internalize what I agree is “relaxation” while retaining effectiveness/ki.
While I tell my students to “relax muscle tension to their center” in order to lower their center of gravity, I think using Sensei Abrams teaching method will help them learn it on a kinesthetic level.
Thank you Sensei for another teaching point, another tool these guys might be able to use.

"Oh Man!"

2010-04-09T13:16:00.000-07:00

4/9/10 f [2s, 12 v] I Three new people. Three guys dropped out after warm-ups. I could see that they weren’t moving very well, major grimaces with some moves, so I suggested that they sit this one out unless we did a technique they were very comfortable with. One guy did get up for one technique. But they were all very “present” the whole time.

Worked from gyaku homini [cross hold]. Started with ikyo and progressed to nikyo, imote [front] and ura [behind]. Most people are relaxing and centering much better.

One new vet was working with a staff member and was having trouble “entering” into his uke’s attack. When I came over to help, he said he really wasn’t comfortable getting so close to someone, but when he saw how much better the technique worked he said he would work on it. After class the staff person said the guy focused so hard on breathing to center and relaxing, he didn’t notice how close in he was moving until, during one technique, he stopped, looked at how close he was, said ”Oh man!” and smiled. Like the staff said, “A small step, but a signficant one”. Thats how we make, and measure progress.

Two vets are leaving the PTSD program [Ward 8] but are staying in the VA facility and just moving to the next building, and want to know if they can still come to this class. Well ya! Make me feel good!

AIKIDO AS MEDITATION

2010-04-07T08:02:00.000-07:00

4/7/10 w [1s, 9v] B 4 new people. I think I am getting the intro rap down, better and more succinct.
Paired new people with guys who have been here four to five weeks. Having people with more experience definitely helps everyone. In helping a new person, the more experienced person helps them learn faster, and, in having to explain what they are doing, they have to pay closer attention to their own technique. Today more people were asking for help because they were able to tell they weren’t doing a technique properly. A real sign of growth.

Note: We were talking about how Aikido is similar and different than Tai Chi, Yoga and other kinds of meditation they have tried and one of the guys came up with a difference I had never thought of before; “With Aikido, you don’t just meditate by yourself, you are meditating while trying to accomplish something with someone else. Easier, but harder.”
With most forms of meditation the focus is inner. The “feed back” comes only from ones own observations or from an instructor. In a group or class situation, there is little external measurement except how you feel about your state or progress. When working alone there is no measurement except evaluating oneself against what you think you should feel, or your interpretation of what someone else said you should feel. And one thing we human persons are great at is fooling ourselves.
In Aikido, we have feedback from our own perspective, comments and corrections from the instructor, and direct, moment-to-moment evaluation from our partner. Of course this requires a partner who provides “intelligent resistance”. Someone once told me “a good uke is an SOB”, they don’t cooperate if you aren’t doing the technique properly. This doesn’t always happen in the dojo. Some people get quite upset if uke doesn’t just flop along nicely. On the other hand, some ukes just try to play hard-ass and just lock nage up from the start [very easy to do when you know what is going to happen].
As I noted previously, working with these guys is a great learning experience for me. If I don’t do a technique properly, all the way through, it won’t work! Not because they are deliberately locking up, but because I’m not moving correctly and they don’t know how to just go-along-to-go-along. My biggest mistakes are not relaxing, not staying centered or focused, not staying in the moment. When I get this instantaneous evaluation, I can sometimes re-enter that meditative state as a part of the proper technique. Sometimes not, then I have to apologise and start over.

What Keeps Me Going

2010-03-31T10:44:00.000-07:00

3/31/10 w [2s,6v] A There has been pretty much the same group for 6 or more classes. This is nice when it happens, as it allows me to do some more advanced techniques, which keeps the staff interested, some of whom have been taking the class since the beginning, gives the vets some new “aha” moments, and quite honestly, keeps my energy and interest up. It also allows me to get my basic points across from a slightly different perspective, and build on their physical memory and knowledge base. When someone is struggling with a new technique I can just say “center”, or “relax” or “bring their center to yours”, and they can remember those points from previous techniques.
There are also a couple of vets who really focus on their technique. I can see them consciously taking a breath, relaxing, trying to move from their center. They are beginning to know when a technique doesn’t “feel” right and ask for help. My shy vet made a point to day of coming up to me before class and saying he had to sit out and watch, he was “just in a lot of pain today, otherwise you know I would be up there.” Another vet had hurt his thumb this morning but he insisted on taking class. I finally had to make him sit out and ice the hand, it was so swollen. He really didn’t want to, so I had to pull rank as sensei.
Sometimes it isn’t much, but it is these small things that keep me going even when circumstances or my own moods pull me down. Aikido continues to be my own spiritual wellspring. It still helps me keep on an even keel, to deal with my own doubts, my often irrational irritation and anger. It is what enables me to claw my way back from the musty, dusty, darkness. I only hope that I can open this resource up for even one or two of these guys.

2010-03-24T09:45:00.001-07:00

3/24/10 w [1s,7v] I Worked from cross grasp [gyaku homni]. Progressed from simple move, first technique [ikyo], to more advanced third technique [sankyo] and ended with second technique [nikyo]. They liked sankyo once they got the pressure/torque movement but they really like nikyo and the immense control they have throughout the technique. I used the method Eric Sensei showed us Monday; extending the off side knee, trapping with the wrist on the knee and the arm at the elbow. This allows freer movement of the off side hand to get the nikyo.
The vet with really bad legs and even less balance is showing better movement. He says it is because he has more confidence and the warm-ups before class seem to help a lot. The young, shy vet is participating fully right from the beginning of the class.
Progress!

2010-03-19T07:31:00.000-07:00

3/19/10 f [1s, 7v] I I can not figure attendance. Started off with 7 vets, 2 new, 5 guys drifted off or left for appointments and one other came in [my young loner], so we ended up with 3 vets. I have to talk with staff to see if there is a reason for this. I don’t know if it might be scheduling issues, issues individuals have, or something off-putting with me or how I am teaching.
Until I figure it out, I’ll just keep on keepin on!

2010-03-18T13:21:00.000-07:00

3/18/10 NOTE; Mary Malmos commented
Thomas, if I may offer a personal perspective...
...the difficulty in dealing with PTSD is that any lasting solutions take time to show results and are never 100%, while someone with PTSD is out of dealotrons and just wants it fixed now. Having PTSD is maybe a little like living in a panic attack: you're in a state of mind where it's very hard to do some of the things that you need to do to improve things. I admire you for your patience and determination -- more than anything else, people with PTSD need to know that someone gives a damn, recognizes their problem as real and wants to help.

Mary
Thanks for the comment, and for keeping up with my blog. I started it mostly as a way to force myself to document and evaluate what I was trying to do. I've discovered the added value of receiving comments and constructive criticism from folks who understand, or are at least supportive. Personal perspectives are what I need.
The feed back I get from my guys is that they like the fact that they can feel something happening right away. When they struggle with trying to muscle a technique, then relax and have it happen, the AHA is writ large on their face. When one of the chairwarrior "invalids" finds himself in full control of someone, the AHA is writ large on their face. And finding that that feeling of panic and vulnerability can be used to gain control over a situation can be quite empowering and AHA is writ large on their face. This showed up strongly with the young vet I mentioned in a recent blog.
I know that recovery from PTSD is at best a long process and probably will require a wide ranging, highly individualized medley of treatment, but I believe more and more strongly that aikido can play a positive role in that process for many. It is also one of the few treatment options which can give someone immediate feedback. I only regret that I can only work with someone twice a week, for six weeks max.

4 TREATMENTS FOR PTSD

2010-03-17T18:27:00.000-07:00

3/17/10 w [1s, 7v] I Standard class. Progressive technique from mirror stance [ai homni]. The most interesting thing was the active participation by a young vet who, up to now, has just sat quietly in a corner. One of the nurses said he is very uncomfortable in group situations. I think she really encouraged him to join in. He started out a little tentative, but after some one-on-one, he joined right in. The other guys showed surprising sensativety and were very supportive of him. I am frequently, and pleasantly surprised at how they take care of each other.
I will feel another level of success if we can keep this young vet actively involved.

NOTE; I came across an interesting report from the Anxiety Disorders Association of America on the four standard approaches to treating PTSD.

NAME Behavior Therapy
GOAL Modify and gain control over unwanted behavior
HOW IT WORKS Learning to cope with difficult situations, often through controlled exposure to them
BENEFITS Person actively involved in recovery skills that are useful for a lifetime
DRAWBACKS Can take time to achieve results

NAME Relaxation Techniques
GOAL Help resolve stresses that can contribute to anxiety
HOW IT WORKS Breathing re-training, exercise and other skills
BENEFITS Person actively involved in recovery skills that are useful for a lifetime
DRAWBACKS Can take time to achieve results

NAME Cognitive Therapy
GOAL Change unproductive thought patterns
HOW IT WORKS Examine feelings and learn to separate realistic from unrealistic thoughts
BENEFITS Person actively involved in recovery skills that are useful for a lifetime
DRAWBACKS Can take time to achieve results

NAME Medication
GOAL Resolve symptoms
HOW IT WORKS Help restore chemical imbalances that lead to symptoms
BENEFITS Help restore chemical imbalances that lead to symptoms
DRAWBACKS Most medications have side effects

Treatment is successful in as many as 90 percent of anxiety disorder patients. Most people respond best to a combination of the four options summarized in this table. If you notice, with the exception of medication, Aikido satisfies these treatment modules when properly taught. Most especially behavior therapy and relaxation techniques.

It is beginning to seem like my feeling that Aikido may truly be therapeutic when included as an integral part of an individual's over all treatment plan is valid, and worth pursuing.

Learning My Own Lessons

2010-03-14T09:02:00.000-07:00

3/14/10 NOTE: Something I initially saw as a drawback to only having people for a max of 12 hours, I am realizing is actually an excellent learning opportunity for me; I always have “uncooperative” ukes. Because Todd Sensei almost always teaches good ukemi [how to properly and safely respond to a technique], most of the people at my home dojo know how to move defensively, if not cooperatively. Resistance is usually “instructive”, i.e. an attempt to show you where you might not be doing a technique properly. Unfortunately, this cooperative ukemi, can also lead to weak or sloppy technique.

Many of the vets are fairly strong, sometimes rigid, and have no idea how to “take technique”. Most are not deliberately uncooperative, although there is always one or two who constantly attempt to lock me up, or out muscle me. This has two consequences for me;
I have to do my technique safely, being sensitive to the energy, tensions and possible physical issues of my partner.
I have to do my technique right, no short cuts, half hearted or sloppy moves, staying focused on my own movement while being sensitive to my partner.

While it is damn hard, it is making a difference in how I work in the dojo. If I remember my own five points of technique, a technique works, even with the muscle men. In fact, when I sense that strength and I relax, their strength flows into the technique, and back into them.

Damn! All this stuff I’ve been spouting actually works!

ATTENDANCE? keep on keeping on

2010-03-12T08:19:00.000-08:00

3/12/10 f [2s, 10v] I I can’t figure out attendance. I started class with 1 staff person and 2 vets and ended up with 2 & 10! Two vets who have shown really strong interest [1 who started at the dojo wed.] didn’t come, but came up to me after to say they would be at class next Wednesday. I guess it is a symptom of the fact they have a lot of other things going on here, and Aikido is still seen by the staff as a recreational activity. Which it is, but there is, or can be, a lot of “therapeutic” value as well. I think some of the staff see the legitimacy of this. Anyhow, I’m just going to continue to start the class, and work with who ever turns up.

After warm-ups I talked about using deep breathing; full diaphragm/chest expansion and just letting the breath float out of the mouth as slowly as possible, as a way to deal with everyday situations of anxiety, stress, anger, etc. I explained how I used it to help temper my “assertive” driving and talked about times I have used it to control my own, often explosive anger.

We worked from cross stance [gyaku homni] started with a basic irimi and progressed from that to two standing pins. I was able to use variations we have not used yet, which is good, especially for the staff, who have been taking the class from the beginning.

NOTE; It seems, if I structure it properly, almost any technique can be used to get my main points across, i.e. breathing/relaxing to center, maintaining center of gravity/balance, focusing on one's own movement. If people leave gaining only this, I will be doing something really constructive.

GRAVITY, use it, don't fight it

2010-03-10T09:20:00.000-08:00

3/10/10 w [2s, 10v] I Again, 3 new people. Now have two people who have trouble retaining their balance when they move. I talked about their center in more concrete terms, as being their center of gravity. When they put their energy up, in their upper body or shoulders, it is much easier to go off balance, when their energy is focused down, in their center, they are much more balanced. I had everyone work on visualizing all the energy in their upper body dropping to their center, relaxing and dropping their shoulders, arms, chest and stomach through their center to the floor.
Not only did this seem to help the two guys with balance problems, everyone could “see” and feel the difference in their control. I had them visualize capturing their partner’s [uke] center/balance, use a technique to bring that balance into and through their center to the ground. I explained that in Aikido we never “fight” with an attacker, we use technique to cause them to fight with themselves and with gravity.
Explaining this basic concept in very mechanical terms seemed to help everyone move themselves, and their partner, much smoother, more powerfully, while, paradoxically, remaining more relaxed. Now if I can help them to understand gravity as amplifying their inner strength, I might be able to help them see, to believe in, and make use of that strength in other situations.

2010-03-07T13:17:00.001-08:00

3/5/10 f [1s, 8v] I 3 new people, the person who has been here consistently for 6 weeks is leaving Monday. As he is from Chicopee, I referred him to the Red Sun dojo.
This group, even the new people, seem to be taking the class seriously and really focusing on the moves they are doing. Even the guy with the balance problems is putting out major effort. We did more advanced versions of ikyo and nikyo from ai hanmi. They really like nikyo. It is relatively easy to do and is obviously a powerful technique. Two guys talked with me briefly after class. They both expressed how Aikido “grabbed them”. One guy said he began to see a way to deal with “stuff” with out going violent, which has been the way he has usually dealt, up to now. The other guy was nodding his head and saying “yup, yup, that’s right for me too.” They both asked about classes at Aikido of Northampton and said they would probably stop by some night.

Both guys came to class at the dojo tonight. This was excellent, as we did testing for several kyu ranks. They both were glad they came as they could see how it fit with what I am trying to do in the class, and both expressed a strong interest in starting at the dojo. I truly hope so. When it happens, I consider it a sign that what I am doing is worth while. We will see!

2010-03-04T06:57:00.000-08:00

3/3/10 w [1s, 6v] B 3 new people. Did soft touch exercise. People started out doing it mostly with their upper body, lot of shoulder movement. Had them work on relaxing to their center and initiating movement from their hips. Still a lot of upper body “competition”. Had them close their eyes and try to sense where their partners action/energy was moving and try to direct that with their center. This really seemed to soften their movement.
Working from ai hanmi [cross hand grasp] did ikyo and nikyo. One vet has a real problem with balance. I worked with him on bringing his center of gravity down from his shoulders to his center, taking several smaller steps, and concentrate on moving as slowly and smoothly as possible. I still had to support him a bit, but he was definitely moving a bit better. I gave him a couple of simple exercises to do that might help; standing on one foot, rowing exercise [funakogi undo], rotating the hips.

continually extending

2010-02-25T06:09:00.000-08:00

2/25/10 Note: Janet Rosen Sensei sent me a comment in which she used the phrase "a feeling of continually extending". It sums up exactly what I was trying to express in several paragraphs. Sometimes simplicity is the most effective way to convey the complex. This is true of technique as well.

"SOFT-TOUCH" CONTROL EXERCISE

2010-02-24T09:59:00.001-08:00

2/24/10 w [1s 5v] All vets were new. I’ll only have these people for 3 weeks but there is a 6 week group starting next Monday. I’d thought I would have the last group a little longer. Too bad!

Good class though. I am getting the intro down a better, more concise and more complete. After warm-up and solo irimi practice, I did a brief exercise to start to incorporate what I was talking about above. I will call this “soft touch” control. It is a flowing movement a little like Tai Chi push-hands. In addition to getting them to be sensitive to their partners movement, there was another, unexpected benefit; if they didn’t move from their center, if they brought upper body strength into play, the flow fell apart. And they could immediately feel it! Then, when we did irimi tenkan with partners, they noticed when the technique didn’t flow, or when they tightened up, or went to their shoulders. They usually couldn’t tell why, or what to do about it, but the awareness of something not being right is a significant step.

I think I will start to include this soft touch exercise at the beginning of each class

LOSING IT

2010-02-23T13:46:00.000-08:00

2/23/10 NOTE: LOSING IT! In class at the dojo today, Todd Sensei spoke on the difference between “maintaining contact” and “grabbing”. We did several techniques working on just maintaining contact with the side of the hand, the palm or even the fingers, but not “grabbing hold”. He said some techniques may require grasping firmly toward the end, but only rarely is it effective to grab vigorously.

While this sounded right, and seemed to work when I tried it, the why of it didn’t click until I remembered Heine Sensei talking about the “line” of attack, and that you could visualize that line extending from the ground, through the attackers body and to and extending THROUGH the point of attack, i.e. the attackers hand. She said that if you controlled that line, “encouraged” the attacker to continue into their extension, you could lead the attacker to that “safe and secure” place which I see as the ultimate objective of Aikido.

This probably pertains to the question Edward asked back on January 16th about what to do when the person doing the technique [nage] loses contact during a technique. This usually comes from losing the sense of where the attacker is, where their line of energy/center is. The key is sensitivity. If you are “grabbing”, you are focused on that grab, are less sensitive to what is going on with uke outside of the area you are grabbing, are less sensitive to the attackers “line”, are more apt to try to force the attacker to do what you want, rather than guiding them to want to do the “right thing”. In other words, grabbing interupts the line, squeezes off communications.

What seems to allow me to retain control, to remain in communication with my partner, is a light, but firm touch. For this to happen properly, I needs be very flexible and not totally committed to one course of action. If I am focused on my own center, on moving properly from the ground through the hips, I am moving my partner with my entire body, my entire being. Thus, if he “lets go”, I am not depending on his “hanging on”, I retain guiding control on other levels, and I can modify my movement to meet the changing situation. This is more than abstract theory. I have actually felt it happen once or twice when working with a new aikidoka who has not yet learned to do “cooperative” ukemi, or with a more advanced partner who is trying to discombobulate me. I believe it is also what allows the “no touch” techniques I have seen done by Heine Sensei and Saotome Sensei.

I realize I have just used a lot of quotation marks. It comes from trying to express something which my language, possibly no language, does not exactly convey. Like most of the true, deep learning of Aikido, it can probably be best learned kinesthetically. This week I am going to try to get this idea of no-grab, gentle, firm controlling contact across to the guys, kinesthetically. I’m not sure how just yet. .

2/23/10 Edward Commented
This mostly makes sense, but in some places it's not clear if you are talking about contact from uke or nage's perspective. On one level, it doesn't matter, as the same principles should apply, but you might want to at least mention something about that. You might want to extend the "line" metaphor a little more, as it doesn't clearly tie in to the rest of what you are saying. Are you talking about "grabbing" as something that pinches/kinks the line? Another way to look at it might be that "grabbing" is a contracting motion, not an extending one, because most Aikidoka understand the problems with contracting while doing technique. How do you hold someone using only extension?
The other thing I found was that as I read it, it made me think about what the difference between uke and nage really is. I know this is unrelated to what you were discussing, but at some point shouldn't the quality and intent of contact be the same regardless of which position you are in? If, as nage, you can abandon a preconceived notion of doing a specific technique, and as uke you can be fully connected, where is the line that divides them? I know this doesn't apply much to the basic level training you've been doing with the vets, but it is really interesting for thinking about advanced level technique and randori/free training. It could also provide a different perspective on reversals.

I wish I had people for longer than 12 classes, because I think the concept of maintaining good contact does contribute to a more controled, safer ukeme, but I only have a wee minimum of time to work on how to best take, and survive a technique

2010-02-18T05:29:00.000-08:00

2/17/10 w [3s, 5v] A Same group. Again, worked mostly from one technique, starting from a basic move from static, took this to an “active” attack, then moved to more complex variations/additions to that basic technique. People are becoming more aware of the difference it makes breathing/relaxing to center, posture and moving from the hips.

One of the staff remarked how much more vulnerable she felt when there was an active attack, but that this feeling eased off as she found a “safe point” early in the technique. I am going to pick up on this at the beginning of class Friday.

People like it when we finish off with a “quick and easy” technique, i.e. a simple wrist or arm lock. Although today someone remarked that although “it looks simple, there is still a lot to doing it right”. Ahh, progress! And I think I have pretty much this same group until the end of next week, and then new people start coming.

COMPETITION REARS ITS UGLY HEAD

2010-02-12T12:42:00.001-08:00

2/12/10 f [1s, 5v] A I have competition! The ward has scheduled a meditation group at the same time as Aikido. Vets have the option of attending either. On the minus side; in meditation you don’t have to do anything, just sit, maybe sleep. On the plus side; it gives the chair warriors something positive to do and the vets who stick with the Aikido are much more into it, the space works better with 5 to 10 people and I can give much more individualized attention. The 5 vets I had today have been to at least 6 classes and had a rough sense as to what was going on. We did one technique [irimi tenkan nikkyo] for a full thirty minutes, breaking it down and working on the more difficult and subtle aspects; hand position and movement, breathing and relaxing to center, moving from/with the hips, proper foot placement, balance.
As I identified an issue one guy was having and worked with them, the others would watch, and then try to incorporate what I had shown into their own technique. The biggest issues, of course, were using too much shoulder and upper body strength, and not maintaining balance while moving. I was able to get them to use breathing [koku] to bring their strength and their balance to their center.

I also had them doing the technique “actively”, i.e. not from a static grab. We worked on moving slowly, concentrating on a flow of movement and proper breathing. I kept stressing that “fast” doesn’t come from “quick”, fast comes from “smooth”. Concentrating on moving smoothly allows you to focus on every aspect of the technique, every position of your hands/feet/shoulders/head/hips/center, as a flow, as they interrelate in the technique. If this is done properly, speed, accuracy and control will develop, and with them the ability to adjust technique to fit each particular situation, to improvise. And it worked! By the end of the class; the guy with the “heavy shoulders” was beginning to make powerful use of his hips, The guy who kept losing his balance was moving much more smoothly and center balanced, the guy who always got his hands mixed up or backwards was so much more smoothly coordinated and “in the moment” he didn’t realize how much he had changed until his partner pointed it out.

So I’m not going to worry about the competition. When we get a new group in I will do a little recruiting and maybe have some of my regulars talk it up. If I can keep a group of 5 to 10 vets, I think everyone will be better off. This is a situation, and best met with proper Aikido principles.

2010-02-10T07:38:00.001-08:00

2/10/10 w [2s, 8v] A Everyone has been here for at least two weeks, so I was able to do slightly more advanced techniques. More importantly, I was able to work with them on some of the more subtle aspects of a move, i.e. the positioning/roll of the hand, working on making movement more controlled, balanced and flowing.
Most of the guys are moving much better. They may not have the techniques down exact, but they are consciously working on the major points; breathing, centering, balance. It will be a real advantage to be able to pair them up with new people as they come into the program.

2010-02-05T17:31:00.000-08:00

2/5/10 f [3s, 9v 2cw (chairwarriors)] A Did a progressive technique from ai homni, wrist lock to ikyo to nikyo. Then did the same with chair technique. Although everyone took a turn working from a chair, the greatest reaction is from the two people who are fairly restricted to a chair. Both these guys do warm-ups from the chair and very actively observe while we are doing standing technique. This level of commitment shows as they quickly pick up on the techniques while chair bound. And I absolutely trip out over the look on their faces when they realize they are not as totally vulnerable as they thought. One chairwarrior said he couldn’t wait to do a technique on his son.

2010-02-04T16:31:00.000-08:00

2/3/10 w [4s, 9v] B Started with about 18 people doing warm-ups. 5 sat down when we started doing technique. I just found out that attendance at these classes is required, although people with physical problems don’t actually have to do technique. Several new people so I did the full intro. Did a series of several progressive techniques from gyaku [mirror stance]. The last one was a bit complicated ,but most of the people eventually did it fairly well.

NOTE; I’ve been prowling the web and have come up with a number of people/organizations with a connection to, and/or an interest in, disabled vets or combat related PTSD. I have sent out 5 letters asking for help and advice in establishing a program that will research Aikido and PTSD, have the program fully developed, codified, expanded and published to where it can be utilized, both at other VA facilities, and possibly at the dojo level. To do this, and to give the concept physiological and clinical validity, I believe a formal evaluation process should be carried out, a manual developed, instructional CDs created and eventually seminars run. I am beginning to look for someone with the formal psychological credentials and an interest in PTSD to work with me on this if I get funding.

So I enter the next stage. I’ve done this kind of organizational and funding stuff for years, I’m not to sure I want to get into it again. Except, my brief experience in ward 8 indicates it can be an effective tool to give these guys. Ah well!

2010-02-03T07:09:00.000-08:00

2/2/10 NOTE: One of the comments I have received, both in the blog, on forums and in person, has been “Wouldn’t Yoga or Tai Chi be better for people with PTSD?”

My first response has been that I don’t know the arts of Yoga or Tai Chi. These arts are excellent exercises and ideally could be taught in conjunction with Aikido. As with Aikido, they can teach relaxation and centering, improve balance, flexibility and coordination, and can be excellent forms of active meditation.

But I have been giving this some thought, and I believe there are several reasons why Aikido provides benefits to vets with combat related PTSD, beyond what they may get from those two arts;
1. All Aikido practice is done with a partner.
Practice involves physical confrontation,"engaging with another human, (which is the source of the vulnerability issue in the art) is key" (Janet Rosen), even though it is in a controlled [safe] situation..
It teaches and requires utilizing internal strength, physical and spiritual, to deal with an external attack situation.
It is a social interaction requiring caring about a partner while maintaining personal safety.
The student/teacher, nage/uke partnership facilitates the learning process.

2. The other arts do not deal with the issue of vulnerability.
Confrontation, even in a controlled situation, engenders feelings of vulnerability. With vets, having experienced real life situations of extreme vulnerability, any confrontation can bring about emotional panic and lock-up or knee-jerk, fight or flight response. Learning to accept that vulnerability and to use it as a way to respond to confrontation in practice gives the individual alternative responses and ways to maintain control of themselves in real life situations, and to possibly turn confrontation into collaboration.

3. These are combat trained veterans who have been conditioned to respond to attack and aggression [real or perceived], by defeating the enemy through attack, aggression and violence.
Many vets’ PTSD arises from, or is complicated by a hatred of, or disgust with one’s self for violent actions taken in the heat of battle or under orders. One consequence can be the feeling of helplessness and anger, which can turn to self-anger, which, in turn, can amplify a generalized anger at the world at large; a downward spiral of dehumanization. Aikido provides a way to respond which is based on self awareness, and a calm, relaxed, humanistic attitude, with the ultimate aim of bringing all parties to a safe and secure place, non-violently. The founder insisted that Aikido was to be an art of peace.

I would really appreciate any comments or suggestions as to how I might better describe the differences-strengths of Aikido versus Yoga, tai Chi, etc. Thanks.

2010-01-29T08:19:00.000-08:00

1/29/10 f [2s, 8v] I Small group practicing. More people sitting around watching but, [except for one guy] refusing to participate, even when I offered chair work. Several new people so I did the intro, solo and partner ireme tenkan, two basic moves from gyaku homni, and the two simple wrist locks from Gyaku that everyone seems to like. The one chair warrior who participated has lost his sense of balance from a head injury. He wanted to, but couldn’t do any technique involving using movement. He was able to stand and do the wrist locks. He said, “Well I can do something any how.” Said with a big grin!

After class, I talked briefly with a couple of staff to try to get some feed back on wether or not there are any signs of this activity having any benefits beyond some exercise. Comments were;
“Guys who take the class seem to be more open to dealing with the issue of vulnerability.”
“When I sense someone tensing up, telling them to breath, center and relax often seems to prevent a real lock up. This happens even with people who I just see sitting around and watching during class.”
“One guy said he tried picturing a problem grabbing his wrist. He was able to relax and move aside, and ‘kind of saw a way through it’.”

Not real hard, scientific evaluation, but an indication something positive may be happening.

2010-01-23T14:56:00.000-08:00

1/22/10 f [1s, 14v includes 6 chair warriors] A Pretty much the same group, 1 new vet. I’ve got to be careful, doing mostly the same basic techniques every week because there is usually a considerable number of new people, can get old for me. Not necessarily boring, but sometimes a bit tiresome. I don’t want to get sloppy or push people to fast just to satisfy my own needs. I do try to use different variations to cover the same basics. Having a group who can move into slightly more sophisticated techniques really gives me a break. Its like a breath of fresh air and does wonders for my moral. I am very pleased with both the commitment these guys show, and how quickly they grasp the essentials of what we are doing. Their technique may not be great, they are struggling with a whole new way to move and use their bodies and minds, but when they see they are not doing something right, and ask for help, that is a sign of real progress.
I should tell them this!

2010-01-21T07:54:00.000-08:00

1/20/10 w [3s, 12v] A Good class. It makes a real difference when I have basically the same group for 3 or 4 sessions. We were able to work in shoulder grabs, single and double. I was asked if I had ever used aikido in real life. I told them the story of my son and the Brazilian Jujitsu master, and talked some about the best possible Aikido technique, i.e., you avoid actual confrontation, physical or whatever. I asked what was the strongest weapon a bouncer in a bar has to use. I got silence, until someone said “his mouth”. I think people are beginning to get an idea of a different way to deal with aggression/stress/vulnerability.

Mopkido

2010-01-19T16:03:00.001-08:00

1/19/10 NOTE: When I studied with Kanai Sensei in Cambridge, Mass, someone in the dojo told me “All aikido techniques are forward. There is no backing up.” This sounded right, and seemed to work most of the time in my own technique. But over the years I have noticed many advanced Aikidoka clearly moving backwards, taking a step back, sometimes several. They obviously had excellent technique and maintained full control of uke, but moved backwards. When I moved backwards, I often lost contact with uke. I was missing something, and it never seemed to be covered in class or at seminars.

The other day, I was doing the wood floors at the back of the dojo with one of those thirty inch janitors dust mops with a pivot where the handle held the mop head, and it hit me: The mop never went backwards. If it did, it dropped the dirt. I [nage to the mops uke] could walk backwards, turn in any direction, go in circles, but, by pivoting the mop head, I could keep the mop moving forward. All dust mop techniques were forward. There was no backing up.

Try it, even if you have to borrow a mop or offer to do someone’s floors. Feel how you have to keep the mop flowing forward, the rhythm of flexing and turning, always pushing, never pulling. Then take that same rhythm and flow on to the mat and picture uke as the dust mop. Keep uke moving forward, left, right, up, down, around and around, through two, three, even four dimensions, in whatever technique or combination of techniques you choose, but always forward. Try to do it as long as possible before either loosing contact, or finishing with a throw. It is like dancing with a partner. Have fun with it. It really helped me relax, loosened my technique up and enabled me to maintain contact and control [see the previous comments on 10/13 & 18].

Evaluation To Date

2010-01-18T18:43:00.000-08:00

1/18/10 NOTES: GOING BACK OVER SOME OF THE EARLIER STUFF
When I started back in September, I set some initial goals for what I wanted to accomplish with this class, and how I intended to go about accomplishing that. After five months, the start of a new year, and a great class, I think it is a good time to review those goals and the trail I have taken to get where we are now.

In September, I set the following, although they weren’t structured quite this way:
I. GOALS:
A. Class will be an enjoyable break from the regular schedule,
B. Give people something positive they can use outside of class, in their regular life, dealing with their real life issues.
C. The physical activity should have an effect on their mental/emotional activity [kinesthetic learning].
It doesn’t really matter if they are consciously aware of this. Covert often works better than overt.
D. Based on discussions with the staff and given the time and location realities:
1. Stress the collaborative nature of aikido practice, Nage as teacher, Uke is student.
2. All techniques will end with a standing pin, occasionally a take down. No throws or falls.
3. Concentrate on basic moves and techniques; 1 & 2 hand grabs, shoulder grabs, chop to neck [shomenuchi]. No punching [tsuki] as it could be a bit too risky with this group.
E. Drill on the 5 points of technique
1. welcoming “attack” and relaxing [breathing] to center
2. getting “off the line” and entering
3. blending attacker’s [Uke] “center” with defender’s [Nage]
4. Nage utilizes technique to move their own body, maintaining relaxed and centered movement,
not focusing on Uke
5. coming to a place where the attacker is secure and both participants are safe [especially Nage]

II. EVALUATION: To evaluate progress/success on these I’ve come up with the following set of goals;
A. That guys will enjoy the class and keep coming.
There is always a core group that comes regularly. This group changes as the population of the ward changes every 6 weeks or so. Some people try it once, and don’t come back, but very few. The guys who don’t come regularly, don’t usually try it even once. Since this is a voluntary activity, the number who stick is fairly high. This also includes the chair warriors who come and watch regularly and practice when we do chair work.
B. That there will be a good interaction among the various “demographics” of the group and a sense of group will develop.
This seems to be going well. People partner-up pretty freely with each other. I havn’t noticed any cliques.
C. Guys will learn and demonstrate an ability to consciously relax and center when “attacked”/stressed.
Most people understand the relaxing to center and will use it during a technique when I cue them. Some guys use it without cueing. One issue that came up during a staff meeting, and working with a couple of the vets is the feeling of vulnerability, and the kneejerk reaction to either withdraw, or respond inappropriately [attack]. I have started to bring up breathing to center and relaxing specifically around the feeling of vulnerability. I’m modifying this question to; when “attacked”/stressed or feeling vulnerable.
D. Staff will have some commonly held language they can use to help Vets in certain situations, i.e. relax, center, breath down.
E. All of these will carry over outside of class.
Evaluating D & E depend on getting feed-back and evaluation from staff. This may take awhile to get established and I’m not exactly sure to get it to happen on a regular basis. I will bring it up to the 3 or 4 staff who regularly attend class.

I also wrote the following, “I should make it clear, I don’t necessarily see Aikido as therapy for PTSD. I do believe, and it has been my experience, that Aikido can be therapeutic.”
Both my own sense of what I am accomplishing, and the fact that the staff really want this to continue indicate some significant theraputic value. As to how much, or in what ways will require a more structured clinical assessment. It would be nice to get such a study funded.

2010-01-18T09:02:00.000-08:00

NOTE: 1/18/10
Sent: Saturday, January 16, 2010 1:41 PM
Subject: Dojo Versus Reality? Blog of 1/13/10
From: Edward
This is definitely something that I've been thinking about as well. One part of it is that we don't usually talk about what happens when contact breaks down. What I have been looking at is at any given point in a technique, if uke loses contact, is nage still in a strong position. In a lot of situations I've found that you are. The thing about that is once contact is broken it seems to me that the philosophical principals of Aikido break down as well. Nage is still in a strong position, but in a lot of situations the strength seems to come from the ability to strike uke. If someone grabs your wrist and you move in for a basic backstretch throw and they let go, you can just continue the movement and drive your elbow into their face, but is that still Aikido?
That definitely does not hold for all techniques, in a lot of cases you can transition to another technique. The problem is that it is nearly impossible to demonstrate to someone who can't take good ukemi unless you are willing to really hurt them. Like I have lost contact with Todd, and had him move in and transition to an arm bar take down and pin, but if I didn't know what to do or refused to move, and he went for it, it would just dislocate my shoulder.
I hope this has some coherence, I sort of thought it out as I was writing it,
Edward

Edward
Thanks for the comments. I think it is an issue we all face at one time or another
What I am experimenting with at the dojo, and finding works, is the working on the fourth point of technique, focusing on moving myself properly, and being aware of, but not focusing on what is happening with uke. This means staying centered, balanced and grounded, even while moving, and maintaining firm contact with, and sensitivity to, uke. It is almost a contradiction in terms, not focus on uke while being sensitive to where their center is. Actually, I find if I am too focused on uke, I loose that sense of where they are and where they are going. But if you watch Todd Martin Sensei, that is exactly what he does. He doesn't have to look at you to tell you are "out of line". He feels it on some level, and since he is still "in his own body", he can flow into a more appropriate response.

I think that is one of the reasons it is easier to work with a more advanced uke. You have a level of confidence in their ability to take ukemi. With a beginning student, I tend to remain very focused on what they are doing, or not doing in their ukemi. What I am trying to do, is increase my sensitivity/awareness of their movement while staying focused in my own technique.
I wish we did more reversals at the dojo. To do them well requires this paradoxical approach.
I also hope this has some coherence. It is difficult to think about, difficult to put into words, and even more difficult to apply.

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

2010-01-15T08:08:00.000-08:00

1/15/10 f [2s, 18v] A Excellent, excellent class. About half the vets were chair warriors. When I saw how many of them did what they could of the warm ups, and paid such close attention to the techniques I was teaching [several were going through the motions] that I finished every technique by having the standees partner with a Chair Warrior. It was excellent! Not only did the CWs do the techniques, several of the mobile vets sat down to try it from that position. It was clear that doing this helped everyone, mobile and chair bound, get a better grasp of the essential core of each technique. It is akin to doing technique from suwari waza [kneeling], it enables you to focus on moving from the center.

It was great, how enthusiastic people were today, making real effort to get the particulars of each technique, starting with that deep, centering breath, asking questions when they weren’t sure of their technique, helping each other. A very good group. It helps me feel like what I’m trying to do is not only working, it has some value to these guys. The last week or so I haven’t been too sure, what with small, constantly shifting groups and the confusion around scheduling. I guess one of my expectations better be that there will be ups and down to this. But why not? Everything worth doing has those downs, but if it is worth doing the ups will come, and they make it all worthwhile.

Damn! I suppose I should apologize for sounding so smug, but today was-----------excellent!

Dojo Versus Reality?

2010-01-14T07:47:00.000-08:00

1/13/10 w [2s, 8v] A Good class, A couple of the guys are grasping both technique and the concept of breathing and relaxing, at the start, and through out a technique. The biggest issue now, is ukemi. Unlike in the dojo, people do not know how to follow in a technique and they often end up in a potentially dangerous position. There are two issues here;
I have to help/teach people to “go with the flow”, to protect themselves by giving up their balance in a controlled way.
I have to improve my own technique so that uke is more apt to move where I want them to go. While uke should be able to move “protectively’, it is nage’s responsibility to insure uke does not move inappropriately, that both nage and uke end up in a safe and secure place. I can’t teach this when I am unable to do so outside of the dojo, with a partner who does not know the safest way to move as uke.
Given the time limitations I am working with I will probably not get people to the point where they can take good, safe ukemi, but I can teach it more often and emphasize it throughout classes.

NOTE: With some techniques, even when I use fairly good form that works in the dojo, it doesn’t work well when applying it “real world’, i.e., with someone who doesn’t know how to take ukemi. I’ve noticed the same phenomenon when working with a new student in the dojo. Is this a problem inherent with the technique? Or due to the fact that I am not doing it properly? How can dojo practice be more realistic? It is important to learn and practice good ukemi, but does this lead to enabling weak or improper technique.

I practice Aikido as a form of physical meditation, not necessarily for its self-defense, martial aspects. But it is a martial art, and I should feel confident in my ability to use it as such. I’m finding that confidence a bit shaken.

More Notes on Methods of Instruction

2010-01-10T18:26:00.000-08:00

“First figure out why you want the students to learn the subject and what you want them to know, and the method will result more or less by common sense.” Richard Feynman, 1982

The secret of aikido is embodied in the vacuum cleaner.
What enables it to work is not
what is there,
but
what is not there.
It creates a space for things to move into,
bundles them up in its center,
and moves them away.

You can’t get a dog [or a person] to go where you want by forcing it. Their instinct is to pull against a force. You have to create a reason why it wants to go where you want. You have to lead.
All things gravitate toward a vacuum.

Methods of Instruction

2010-01-09T11:03:00.001-08:00

NOTE; I am finding it important to view, and conduct the entire class, as a continuum. Given the time limitation I can’t teach as with a standard dojo class, where the assumption is, over time, everything will be covered and that students will eventually internalize basic principles. In order to best meet the specific objectives I have set for this class, and given the time constraints, I need to included everything, breathing, centering, posture, moving in balance, remaining relaxed, from the first breathing exercise and warm-up through every technique, to the final relaxation/breath down at the end of class. “You can’t start out where you want them to be, you have to start out where they are at.”

Also, I have to be constantly aware of, and sensitive to, the delicate, balanced approach needed in teaching these guys. In some ways they are much stronger and tougher than the average dojo student, yet in some ways much more fragile and vulnerable. My approach of joking and kidding around often really helps, and being a former combat vet, I can get away with a lot. But there is a fine line where this sort of thing can be perceived as belittling or insulting. Pride can easily be bruised, and that line varies with each guy.

2010-01-08T10:37:00.000-08:00

1/6/10 & 1/8/10 w&f [2s 7v] B Same people both days, but mostly new people. Interesting as there is one vet who was a boxer and a bouncer for a rock group, and another vet who was an MP and did security after he got out of the service. Monday they both did the “well what if I did this” routine and the “but I am so used to doing it this way” routines. I explained how the 5 points of technique are much more effective in dealing with attack/stress than the ways they were used to. I had the ex-boxer throw a jab at me, I stepped off the line, “extended” his center [his fist] and continued the momentum of the punch to the point where he over balanced to where I was all that was holding him up and in control. Very nice “a ha” moment. He agreed that, like me, he was getting a bit old to be using muscle and strength like he might have when he was young.

Several people agreed that they “felt better” when using proper technique as opposed to how they used to feel when attacked. When I asked them to explain what they thought the difference might be I got;
“I feel more relaxed.”
“I feet more in control of myself and the attacker.”
“Once, it worked so good, I actually wanted to laugh.”
“I don’t feel bad, or angry at my self or the other guy.”

Most of these guys try to use upper body strength, hunching over, dropping a shoulder, etc. Working with the MP and the boxer specifically on these two issues also helped others see how much more effective they can be using the 5 points.

I find myself using less ethereal, more mechanical language. I don’t talk about the center being a spiritual foci for ki, but as the physical center of the human body and therefore a center of their strength. I emphasize how taking that deep breath enables them to relax [I start doing this during warm-ups] and that being relaxed allows them flexibility and ease of movement. I explained how a particular part of a technique gives leverage, enables continuation of momentum, allows capture and control of uke’s balance. These are, by and large, very pragmatic people. They can understand and see the advantages of Aikido technique in very usable terms. Talking about some of the more spiritual, philosophical concepts of Aikido would be apt to turn them off.

Of course, I truly believe that they are absorbing those concepts, albeit covertly, and if they manage to continue with Aikido, they will come to see how practical and pragmatic those esoteric concepts are.

Frustration

2010-01-04T17:20:00.000-08:00

1/4/10 m [0s,0v] ? Once again, no one showed up for a Monday class. Too many other things going on. Talked to the head of staff and he put it on their agenda for tomorrow. He couldn’t remember why they changed it from am to pm on Monday. I knew there would be administrative/scheduling issues and problems, but it is hard to stay motivated when no one shows up week after week. Well, onward into the fog!!

The benifits of no-throws Aikido

2009-12-30T10:15:00.000-08:00

12/30/09 w [3s, 13v] A Good class. We were able to do more advanced work from ai homni, going to a nikiyo wrist pin and a shoulder lock pin. Given the no-mat, small area, I think not having to worry about throws helps. Nage can concentrate on their own movement and uke does not have to worry about getting set for a fall. I think it could be beneficial to occasionally do no-throw technique in a dojo, especially in a class with a preponderance of beginners and intermediate students. I did get the staff to split up and work with vets and. as it wasn’t a very big group, was able to bring everyone into one area.. Again, most folks do the move a couple of times and then slack off. The next class should have a lot more new people. This can be an opportunity to “tighten things up”, at least a bit.

2009-12-28T19:51:00.000-08:00

12/28/09 NOTE: Up to now, classes have just been held in the ward’s day room. There has been no formal class structure even remotely approaching a dojo. Would it help or hinder if, for the period of the class, I established a more dojo-like atmosphere? My regular dojo is somewhat informal compared to the very strict rites, rituals and routines found in many dojos. But there is a structure, an etiquette, a discipline that helps the learning process and assures a measure of safety. In Keganin No Senshi Aikido, as we don’t do throws and falls, safety mostly involves being sensitive to uke and “tapping out” on time. However, current class structure and behavior are loose beyond just being informal.

The physical set up of the ward 8 day room is somewhat to blame, as the location of fixed furniture causes people to be a bit scattered and facing several different directions. We always have several chair warriors sitting around.. Also, sometimes a side meeting is going on at the front desk, and people often walk through on various tasks. There is also a tendency to sit down, or stop practicing a technique after one or two tries.

Many of these issues can be distractions and are endemic to where we are working out. I can probable get the “outlying” people [usually staff, usually female] to join the main group, at least after warm ups. Unless, for some reason, it is inappropriate. I think this would be good for them, and the group, on several levels. The chair warriors do seem to be paying attention to the class, often going through the motions of a technique to the degree they are able. They really participate, and seem to enjoy it when we do chair techniques.

Some of this is a result of my own resistance to arbitrarily imposed rigid or formal rites, rituals, structures. At the same time, I have learned, often the hard way, that structure, rites and rituals are important in any human endeavor, when they are relevant to the purpose, the situation and the people involved. So the questions are; should I structure the class a bit more like a dojo, or leave it loose and casual, and if so, what kind of structure would best suit these guys, and this situation?

Vulnerability & Power Shift

2009-12-23T13:17:00.000-08:00

12/23/09 w [1s, 14v] A 8 guys were chair warriors today. Joint problems seem to be the main issue. I don’t know if this happens very often but I noticed it once or twice before. I think I will do chair Aikido for a bit every Friday.

In line with my discussions with staff and vets last week, and your comments, I am trying to place more emphasis on vulnerability, and how it is an important factor in initiating good Aikido technique. I explained that for a technique to even be initiated, Uke [teacher] had to attack. This meant that Nage had to at least appear vulnerable enough so Uke would attack, but, this meant that they were in control of their vulnerability and therefore in control of a situation where they were “under attack”. To physically practice this, I had them do enter-and-turn [irimi nage] a little differently. When Uke grasped Nage’s wrist I had Uke push, and I had Nage push back for just a second before breathing-to-center, then entering off line, and pivoting, using their hips rather than their shoulders and upper body. When they did this, they were able to observe and feel the shift in control from Uke to Nage. One vet described it as a “power break”, another agreed and called it a “shift in who was in control” . I had them maintain this resist and power shift through a succession of gyaku homni moves. In every technique, they were able to feel the exact point when the “power shift” happened. But, it only happened when they offered vulnerability and then did the technique properly. It can be an excellent way to self-evaluate whether or not the technique is being done right.

2009-12-19T10:19:00.000-08:00

12/19/09 I just received the following comment from Michael Werth Sensei, founder and Dojo Cho with Main Street Martial Arts, in Providence RI. I think it is an excellent way for presenting vulnerability as potentially positive, and another way in which Aikido can find strength in “weakness”.

“I also teach about vulnerability in Aikido, and how it's actually a "strategy" to be vulnerable "on purpose", in some small way to lead people to that opening. People can be attracted to vulnerability. Some will love those who are vulnerable and some will attack those who are vulnerable. It's presenting our vulnerabilities to others in ways that WE CONTROL that leads to trust and confidence in ourselves and an ever-expanding circle of influence and relationship with others.”

MAKING PROGRESS

2009-12-18T13:26:00.000-08:00

12/18/09 f [5s, 18v] I Good group. Several new people. I mentioned the issue of vulnerability and how to respond with centering. We did technique from mirror grasp [ai homni]. Started with basic enter & turn [irimi tenkan] and progressed to an elbow lock and to a shoulder lock [shiho nage]. A number of people are beginning to take a breath and relax to center with out my prompting. Finished with a basic wrist lock and had standing people work with chair bound. Again, great response from people who felt extremely vulnerable because of their physical limitations.

Had my son with me today. He has practiced 16 years, since he was 5. This gave me a chance to begin to show people how to take proper ukemi. After class I asked for his critique. He suggested I work more on how to take ukemi. How a good, firm grasp, flexibility and staying in contact with nage is a way to remain safe and maintain some level of control. I’ll have to try to work on this at least once a week.

NOTE: Met with the program staff after class. I talked about how what and how I am teaching has changed since I first started. I am working more on breathing, relaxing to center and maintaining that relaxation through out a technique. I also mentioned the issue of vulnerability that came out on Wednesday. They thought that this was a major point to work on. The way they described it; with most people 95% of social interactions do not make them feel vulnerable, they may feel vulnerable in 1%, with people with PTSD they may feel vulnerable 95% of the time. Most of what the ward 8 program and the staff does is working with the vets in recognizing and dealing with these feeling of vulnerability.

The emphasis is that feelings of vulnerability may be valid, but that what are needed are ways, techniques for dealing with the situation constructively, not internalizing it, or kneejerking into a habitual, but not necessarily effective response.

Suggestions from the staff were: that I discuss the philosophy, the assertive but non-aggressive nature of Aikido, that I ask them what their feelings are when they are grabbed at the start of a technique and how do those feelings change as they breath/relax/center, and how they feel when they successfully complete a technique, i.e. gain and retain control of a situation in which they were vulnerable.

I explained how some of those things were learned kinesthetically, a very powerful learning process which has a definite, if covert impact on emotional as well as intellectual processes. I agreed, that given the short time vets were in the program, it could be beneficial to reinforce the kinesthetic learning with a bit more verbal explanation. I pointed out that staff could also refer to the basics of Aikido in helping someone to better understand the emotional/intellectual work done in other parts of the program. For example; “If you take a breath and relax to your center, how might it make you feel in this situation of vulnerability?” or “ How could you do an enter and turn to better deal with this?”

I am really glad that so many staff participate in my classes. I think it helps in their relationship with the guys, and wilol hopefully give them usefull tools in working with them in other milieus. I am going to try to get more staff to work directly with the guys, especially the women staff. Their Aikido is getting quite good.

I am beginning to feel like I'm giving the vets something more than a fun bit of exercise. The meeting with the staff, while not a formal evaluation, reenforced this.

Vulnerability

2009-12-17T07:01:00.000-08:00

12/16/09 w [4s, 8v] I Moderate size class, no new people. Noticed an “evaporation” of vets between the time their morning meeting ends [usually late] and my class begins. An issue for when I meet with staff this Friday.

Worked on cross hand grasp [gyaku homni]. I was emphasizing breath, relaxing and welcoming the “attacker”,[uke]. One of the vets said he was having a lot of trouble doing that. We talked about that a little, and a couple of vets said when uke “came at them” they felt vulnerable and couldn’t relax, and in fact, usually tensed up and would go into an attack mode.. So their tensing up their shoulders and upper body can be more complicated than the typical male tendency to use upper body strength and to try to “muscle through” an attack. I think I will include this feeling of vulnerability and the way to respond in my emphasizing welcoming, breathing, and relaxing to center. This would also be one of the evaluative criteria if I ever get a regularized evaluation process going.

2009-12-15T08:12:00.000-08:00

12/15/09 m [5v] B Small class, 3 of the 5 are new. I never know what to expect on Mondays. It does give me a chance to do more one-on-one. I am placing greater emphasis on relaxing-to-center and proper breathing. Not that I am all that great on breath control my self!

2009-12-10T08:17:00.000-08:00

NOTE: In a dojo, there is usually a minimum of explanation and discussion. It is assumed that what I call the 5 points, will be learned, not intellectually, through explanation and discussion, but kinesthetically, through constant practice of technique. In working with the folks at the VA, I have them, at the most, for 6 weeks, 18 classes. Although I don’t expect them to learn precise technique, I do want them to grasp the power of breath/relaxation/centering. My experiments so far indicate a combination of explanation/discussion/group demonstration, backed up by practicing technique and one-to-one demonstration could be the best approach. Last Friday I had them try to work out some techniques for chair aikido using the five points and they reinvented a couple of excellent techniques, modified for chair gyaku hanmi. Several guys remarked on how relaxing and bringing uke to their center worked so well.

Questions for anyone out there. Would this intellectualization and improvisation help or hinder the internalization of the basic principles of Aikido? Should I stick to doing it just during chair work, or using it during regular standing techniques? Would giving a “homework” assignment help or hinder?
I thank you for any suggestions.

ps I apologize for my constant screwing up of the proper Japanese terminology in this journal. One of the reasons I didn't test for over 40 years is my total disability to learn foreign languages. I would be extremely embarrassed when Sensei would give me a technique to do, and I would have no idea which one he wanted. I would like to thank my Sensei, and everyone in my dojo for their patients in working through this. Please, don’t hesitate to correct me.

2009-12-09T13:04:00.000-08:00

12/9/09 w [3s, 18v] B There was no class Monday. Everyone was playing bingo, which the guys from here don’t usually do, except there were some cash prizes. There will be no class Friday as everyone will be helping set up for the Xmas party for all the alumni of the program. They say about 300.

There were a few new people today, so, because we started late, I did an abbreviated intro. Both the warm-ups and irimi practice went well. People seemed to pick-up the basics a bit faster. It could be I am improving how I talking and walking them through. Did irimi tenkan to a shoulder lock and finished with a simple wrist lock. I am finding these are good techniques to use with first timers. They are fairly simple, most folks pock them up quickly, they can feel the difference when they breath, relax and center, and shows even the biggest doubter how effective Aikido can be.

Chair Aikido

2009-12-05T17:05:00.000-08:00

12/4/09 f [2s, 18n] I Class size increasing, couple of new people. I’d promised people we would do some chair aikido, so we did chair aikido. Generally people like doing these moves, although there are always 2 - 3 who still don’t participate. We started off with ikyo and nikyo from “Gyaku Hanmi”, i.e., same side grab. I asked people if it made any difference if they took a centering breath on beginning the move and if bringing uke’s hand fully into their center helped. The response was, and this is a direct, multiple quote, “Oh, wow, much better.”

One of the guys asked what technique would I use with a cross handed grab, “Ai Hanmi". I said I didn’t know, as I was sort of inventing chair aikido as we went. But if we relied on the 5 aspects, we would undoubtably figure something out. I then told them to work with their partner and try and discover techniques. Of course, they came up with a number of techniques, several of which were quite good. If I have a good group, I might do this again, i.e., have them try to develop variations of basic techniques.

NOTE: I have to see if it might be possible to video some classes. Given confidentiality issues it might not be allowed.

KEGANIN NO SENSHI AIKIDO, Wounded Warrior Aikido.

2009-12-02T08:08:00.000-08:00

12/2/09 w [4s, 12v] B good size class. Mostly new people. The usual doubting Thomases, but some fairly noticeable changes in attitude by the classes end. Did the standard basic program. I have been emphasizing taking a deep breath and relaxing to center at the very beginning of every technique. Again, when people do it, they immediately experience an improvement in their movement, and how much better the technique works. 5 chair warriors this time, so we will probably do some chair work this Friday.
The way the room is arranged is problematic [among the many other problems]. It is long, not very wide and has a pool table down at one end. This means we have people sort of strung out, with a couple trying to work beside or behind the table. It means the class is a bit chaotic and it is a bit difficult to get around to work with everyone. Again, not something we can do anything about, just another situation where the answer is to keep on keepin’ on.
NOTE: Someone said I should have a name to identify the special kind of Aikido I am doing. Since I can’t put myself under the umbrella of my own dojo, at this point I am also excluded from our federation. So I will call what I am trying to develop KEGANIN NO SENSHI AIKIDO, Wounded Warrior Aikido.

2009-12-01T12:11:00.000-08:00

11/30/09 m [0s, 5v] B
Real small class, didn’t start until 2:45, a number of people left early today and several new people are only processing. Plus, several people who were supposed to be here were in a class/session that ran way over. They were just getting out when our class was getting over. Did have one guy show up who is no longer in the Ward 8 program, but is still in another program at the facility. He wants to come whenever he can. I told him I would be real glad to have him. Mondays seem to consistently be chaotic. I don’t know if anything can be done, but I will try to bring it up to the staff. Also, the schedule and attendance may be all over the map with the holidays coming up.
Gave my goals tostaff. He said he has checked with a couple of people, and there is no way to get volunteers funded through the VA. He will check with the president of the local DAV. Maybe we could create the Injured Warrior Aikido as a DBA of Crystal Farm and get funding through that 501(c)3.
One of the new guys is a real “tester”, always wants to know “what if”. This is actually good, because I can show him the response to his “what if”, and it is obvious he is impressed. I use him frequently now as uke because everyone believes him when he says, and clearly shows, it works.

Breath, Relax, then Move

2009-11-27T11:39:00.000-08:00

11/27/09 f [0s, 7v] I Today is the day after thanksgiving and we had 7 guys here anyhow! One of the guys came in from home. Two new people but I felt the more experienced guys could work with them if we did some slightly more complicated technique. They really did quite well, good class.

NOTE: I have found that when someone stiffens up or tries to use too much muscle in a technique, having them take a deep breath and relax as they exhale really makes a difference. And they can feel the difference themselves and how much “easier” the technique becomes. I have started each technique telling them to do the breath/relax just as they begin the move. This is really all I would like them to leave with. I could be one of the “tools” staff can use in counseling as well.

2009-11-26T06:41:00.000-08:00

11/26/09 w [4s, 6v] I Small class, 3 of the vets were relatively new but we had three who have been practicing five weeks. Worked from cross hand grasp [Gyaku Hanmi] and did ikkyo and nikkyo to the front [omote]. Several of the guys are going to be around the Friday after Thanksgiving and said they would really like to have class, if I could make it. Difficult as it may be to get up at 6:30 am the day after thanksgiving, how could I refuse. I think one of the better students will be leaving next week, but he is thinking about starting practice at our dojo. It still makes me feel good when that happens.

Learning from the not-so-good

2009-11-24T06:13:00.000-08:00

11/23/09 m [2s, 6v] B Small class, three new people. There are several of the younger vets who don’t seem to show up but occasionally. I’m not sure how to deal with this. I think I should take this up with the staff. If they aren’t aware of it, it could indicate issues they may want to address.
I think I am getting the intro down much better, more concise yet clearer. Particularly doing ireme tenkan. The new people were doing the move much better, much sooner. Maybe it is just a good group. Having enough people with a couple of weeks experience to pair up with the new people really helps. There are supposed to be more new people Wednesday.
I talked with one of the staff about doing more formal evaluation of the program, both what it might be giving to the vets, and what it might be giving to the staff. He suggested I bring in the goals I set back in the beginning to the staff meeting Wednesday after class. We can go over them, see how realistic they are and determine how we can structure an evaluation process based on the revised set. Then I can meet with the staff one Wednesday a month and do an evaluation.

NOTE; I've been thinking about what to do when you are in a class or seminar with a sensei who's way of doing an aikido technique or their style of teaching is not what you think is good. You may not believe it, but I am as biased about Aikido sensei as anybody.
I had a class with a different sensei a while ago. He fell into both of the above categories of what I don't like. What I decided to try, is to practice what he taught, but analyze what I did and didn't like, and how I thought it could be done or taught better. In doing that, I came to realize a couple of faults/weaknesses in my own technique and teaching. Not that it should necessarily be what or how that Sensei taught, but something I should look at as a way to improve my technique, or a better way to teach.
This sensei’s methods of teaching was by the numbers. I found it too slow and disconcerting, no grace or flow. But working with the vets, or even with a newbie at the dojo, teaching a basic move, and going progressively to more complicated aspects and variations, while emphasizing the continuous flow, relaxed strength, balance, etc. isn’t by the numbers, but it could enable them to better see the bases of all techniques, give a context to techniques and help people understand the logical structure of aikido. It should also allow them to make significant progress fairly early on and thus keep their interest up.
I hope this makes some sense. I see it as a way to bring the basic principles to a negative situation. And as far as I'm concerned, that is what Aikido is all about.

2009-11-21T12:06:00.000-08:00

11/21/09 NOTE: I have just read “Aikido - Martial Arts - Fighting” on George Ledyard Sensei’s, blog, George Ledyard's All Things Aikido, and it has me thinking about my own experiences as a US Army warrior and as an Aikido warrior. My basic training and experience in the 101st Airborne as an Army warrior was focused on violence, aggression and conquering an “enemy”. I transferred to Special Forces as I had heard that their mission was to train and equipt indigenous people as guerrilla fighters defending themselves against a foreign attackers. [As a kid, I always wanted to be the Lone Ranger. I mean really!] And this was, in fact, what we did for many years, even in the early stages of our involvement in Viet Nam, under the mistaken belief that North Viet Nam was the “foreign attacker”.

In my last tour in Nam, I found myself caught up and participating in violence, aggression, and viciousness against the very people we had originally been serving. So I got out. The problem was that I found myself still caught up in the self image of this warrior of violence, aggression, and viciousness, and it was not a person I particularly liked. In fact I found this person I had become so repulsive, so antithetical to who I really wanted to be, the image of my self in my own mind, I often thought about eliminating that person completely. Fortunately, I stumbled into Aikido, and very soon came to the realization that one could be what Ledyard Sensei calls a “peaceful warrior”, that this seeming oxymoron could, in fact, be entirely real.

This realization enabled me to bring what I was beginning to see as the philosophical, spiritual bases of Aikido into other “war zones” such as alternative education, social services, social change, etc. and even the day-to-day struggles and stresses of life. I am not always successful. All too often my Irish temper yields to the warrior of aggression [like when I’m driving]. But there are times, thankfully the more important times, when the Aikido warrior takes over. There are times when I feel good about who I am, and that the fight can be a good one.

If I can in any way convey this to the vets I am working with, maybe I will be taking another small step toward my own image of who I want to be. It would be nice to contribute to bringing peace to the entire world, or even one little part, but I can only do that as I learn to be a peaceful warrior myself.

Back to the chairs

2009-11-20T09:34:00.000-08:00

11/20/09 f [4s, 12v] A After warm-ups, we went to chair techniques. Doing ikyo and nikyo, ai hanmi and gyaku hanmi, while sitting helped people grasp the concepts of relaxing and bringing uke to nage’s center. The first instinct is to try to pull uke, but it proved to be very difficult. When people relaxed and just let the weight of their arm “drop”, they could execute the move reasonably well. I think we will do chair technique fairly regularly, every other week or so. With the exception of two guys recovering from broken wrists, it enables everyone to participate. Doing a standing technique and then repeating and varying it from a chair does two things; it shows the chair bound they are not powerless and it shows everyone that focusing on the 5 points of technique can enable infinite variations to basic technique.
Some people are beginning to move generally much better, less speed and using the upper body, and more relaxed flow and centering.

2009-11-19T16:27:00.000-08:00

11/18/09 w [4s, 12v] A Again, no new people and moderate size class. We were able to go from basic irimi tenkan through 4 sequentially more complex variations. The guys say they like doing this as it helps them understand how the more advanced variations work and gives a context for the basic variations. Working with the same group several times in a row; really helps firm up their use of the 5 points.
I got a chance to work on some new standing pins and chair techniques over the weekend with another shodan while on a short vacation. I need to do more of this, but don’t have much opportunity. I will have to find someone simpatico near by. Doing this by myself is OK, but someone to bounce ideas off would help.

2009-11-10T07:05:00.000-08:00

11/10/09 m [1s, 11v] A No new people and moderate sized class so we did grasp both wrists [Ryote Dori] to joint lock [nikyo]. Worked on maintaining center/center line while lowering the body to get under uke’s arm. Some difficulty in “lowering” body as opposed to hunching over. People found that when did this correctly, [relax, center] they were able to maintain their balance and keep uke from twisting out.
As I outlined in the previous note, I have begun demonstrating how to take ukemi safely, and with some level of self-control. When people were able to relax into the movement they found they could respond much easier.

2009-11-09T08:50:00.000-08:00

NOTE: It is unfortunate that, because we can only workout on a rug, I can’t have people doing a full ukemi, i.e. rolls, take downs, etc. Doing technique as Nage gives the experience of dealing with aggression/stress as it comes at you. However, well taught ukemi [ falling down as an art] gives the experience of retaining some level of control and balance once one is in a spiral of experience; keeping oneself as safe as possible, going with the flow, keeping a clear mind not panicking and maintaining the possibility of reversing a technique/situation, and regaining full control. Few dojos stress good ukemi, beyond a way of falling down. I realize that this is one of the most powerful and effective aspects of Aikido that Sensei Martin stresses in his teaching. It is an excellent example of the covert teaching of life knowledge that the founder wanted.

Onward - into the fog

2009-10-27T07:52:00.000-07:00

10/21/09 w [5s, 22v] No new folk. Did Friday type class. Worked up from irimi tenkan to basic nikiyo [omote, no take-down/pin]. This proved to be a good technique to instill the need to “center” i.e., bring uke’s arm/center down and directly into nage’s center. Told them we would start at that point Friday after warm-ups, and continue that technique to a more advanced level.
Note: As the schedule of when new folks come in to the Ward, and to avoid confusing myself, I’m going to re-name the 3 types of class I defined above;
Monday will now be “A” advanced
Wednesday will now be “B” basic
Friday will now be “I” intermediate

10/21/09 At Aikido of Northampton [my regular dojo]
2 guys from the big 8 [ward 8 is the location at the VA facility where the PTSD vets live] visited a regular class. They were a bit blown away at how effective aikido can be when you go full out. They also remarked on how the very limited, basic technique we are able to do actually are the basics of a full aikido technique. They got to meet Todd Martin Sensei and liked how he reinforced what they were doing. One guy is leaving the program Tuesday and asked if I knew of any dojos in the Providence RI area. He thinks he might want to continue his aikido. I will get him a list of the dojos I know of.

10/23/09 f [5s, 20v] A type class. Warm ups, solo & partner irimi tenkan. Repeated irimi tenkan to nikyo omote as a standing pin. Progressed to nikyo ura as a standing pin. People were surprised at how powerful nikyo is, and how destructive nikyo ura could be if pushed a bit too far. Very high interest in this technique. A lot of people experimented with different grips and hand/body positions.
I ended with a demonstration of nikyo ura to a takedown and floor pin, and how well it enabled me to control uke while being completely relaxed myself.

10/26/09 [ s, v] B [3s, 10v] Apparently a lot of people left today and we had 2 new guys.
also, starting on-time, at 2:30 on Mondays is problematic. A lot of people are involved in other activities, group meetings, counseling, clinics, etc. that are supposed to end at 2:30, but often run over, and even if they do end on time, by the time people get to class it is often 5+ minutes before they get to the class. I don’t know if we can do anything about this but I will try to get the class to start and end 5 minutes later.
NOTE: I just have to plan on not being able to plan any regular sechedule of classes. I will just have to concentrate on the goals I set and try to implement them as best I can with the group I have on any one day. If I reach a few people, inculcate the concept of relaxing, breathing and centering when confronted or in stressful situations I will know I haven’t wasted my time. Althought it has only been a short time, it seems to have happend with a couple of guys and that feels real good.

2009-10-20T06:08:00.000-07:00

10/16/09 [4 s, 22v] Great class! Had them leave about 11 chairs out. Started with regular warm-ups and solo irimi tenkan. Then explained that we were going to develop some chair aikido, together, as I wasn’t sure what I was doing with this. Stressed that the 5 points still applied, especially relaxing and moving from the hips, even though you might assume they were locked in by sitting down. Pointed out that in addition to Uke’s center being higher, Uke would have to reach in and over their legs to grab them. This would cause Uke to already be somewhat over balanced.
Started with a simple wrist grab, irimi variation where Nage “scooped” Uke’s “center” to their center/lap. Then continued this into an ikkyo, pinning Uke over Nage’s knees. Then a couple of the guys said they thought an arm pin to the chest would work from a chair, so we tried that. Worked great.
This was the first time we had every one trying moves. At the start, I could tell that a number of folks didn’t think they could do any of this. Some very serious doubts on the faces of former armchair cowboys, By the end of class, those looks had changed, at least to the possibility they weren’t totally helpless in a chair. The biggest hurdles were learning to sit back in the chair, relax the shoulders and not jerk on Uke. Many guys realized, for the first time, the power of relaxing and bringing Uke to their center.
I think, that as practicing technique to a standing pin, practicing technique from a chair can be an excellent teaching tool for aikidoka at any level.
For me, this was a very satisfying class. In part because applying the 5 points while “trapped” in a chair worked so well, but mostly because we were able to involve everyone in the class but also because of the level of enthusiasm the guys showed. The room was replete with really positive “vibes” today. I am even more firmly convinced that the basic principles of aikido, both O’Sensei 5 principles and the 5 points of technique, are truly universal and can be used by anyone, in almost any situation of conflict/ aggression/stress.
Damn, I love this stuff!!!!!!!

10/19/09 Confused start. Began with 4 staff and 7 vets. Was told there would be more vets as well as several new guys. Ended up with 5 staff [1 new] and 14 vets with 4 new guys. Obviously my Monday plan got changed. I guess I am going to have to be ready to adapt to who ever shows up.
Basically did the Wed plan. Guys who have been to a few classes voluntarily partnered with new guys. I concentrated on basic static irimi techniques. As expected, several people left the program. Unfortunately, they were a couple of the better ones. But, then again, a couple of those staying are coming along. Hopefully Wednesday or Friday I can get in some more active techniques using timing and momentum, working on a smooth flow of movement and using energy from the hips

AIKIDO FOR COMBAT PTSD

INTEGRATING INTO A PROGRAM OF THERAPY

BLENDING; MIND, BODY AND SPIRIT

HOW DO YOU "LAY OFF" A VOLUNTEER?

MUSUBI - THE HEART OF AIKIDO

LEARNING FROM THE WALKING WOUNDED

GETTING A RETURN ON INVESTMENT

AMERICANIZED NAMES

THERE IS A GLIMMER OF HOPE

VARIETY AIDS THE LEARNING PROCESS

IS AIKIDO ONLY ONE THING?

NO THROWS AIKIDO

TOO ANGRY AND TOO OLD

"MAKE YOUR AIKIDO YOUR OWN"

CHANGES IN EVALUATIVE CRITERIA

Manual In Progress

WORKING HARD AT NOT TRYING

NEVER STRETCH BEFORE CLASS! huh?

AIKIDO AND CHOCOLATE CAKE

GETTING OFF THE LINE

THE CONUNDRUM OF "RELAXING"

"I DON'T WANT TO DO WAR NO MORE"

FROM SMOOTH, COMES FAST

SHADOW UKE

ONWARD IN TO THE FOG

MOVE SMOOTHLY, NOT FAST

SENSITIVITY OF A CLOD

I REALLY NEED SOME ADVICE

THE SATISFACTION OF A GOOD GROUP

MIDITATION & TEACHING AIKIDO

WHAT SEEMS TO BE WORKING BEST

AIKIDO AS MEDITATION

ANOTHER STRENGTH FROM RELAXATION

Personalizing

"DEALING WITH STUFF WITH OUT HURTING"

Tricks is for kids

Relax & Center. Everything else is tricks

TEACHING RELAXATION

"Oh Man!"

AIKIDO AS MEDITATION

What Keeps Me Going

4 TREATMENTS FOR PTSD

Learning My Own Lessons

ATTENDANCE? keep on keeping on

GRAVITY, use it, don't fight it

continually extending

"SOFT-TOUCH" CONTROL EXERCISE

LOSING IT

COMPETITION REARS ITS UGLY HEAD

Mopkido

Evaluation To Date

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Dojo Versus Reality?

More Notes on Methods of Instruction

Methods of Instruction

Frustration

The benifits of no-throws Aikido

Vulnerability & Power Shift

MAKING PROGRESS

Vulnerability

Chair Aikido

KEGANIN NO SENSHI AIKIDO, Wounded Warrior Aikido.

Breath, Relax, then Move

Learning from the not-so-good

Back to the chairs

Recommended reading

Onward - into the fog